Smart

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While my intelligence should not be defined by numbers on a page of cardstock, it is. I was okay with people judging me based on the numbers and not for who I was, because I didn’t know any better. Even when I did know better, somehow numbers seemed to dominate my self worth.

Try your best, do well, get a good education. How many times have you heard the same words? Be a doctor, be a lawyer, make money and save lives at the same time. I expect nothing less than your very best and if that falls short of a 99%... Then it becomes your fault.

It’s all too familiar and it’s all the same, everyone eventually feels this way; so burnt out and so dead. I wonder how many of you really do die because of all the pressure?

I could be a statistic one day, because so much is expected of me. When I truly believe I’ll never live up to it, why should I try? We all know that I will come up short.

I know it’s wrong to believe that these numbers mean so much. I know that I should be happy with an 86, because it tells me that I am better than average. I don’t mean to degrade anyone with a 70, but I have always been told more is expected of me.

I’m so sorry, if my competitive nature drives you away. Strip away the need to be perfect, and I’m sure I too could be a nice person.  

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