Route 262

~1~

It's a Monday morning, and I'm wrestling with my own self-loathing. 

It's not enough that today I'm looking gross as usual - I didn't have the time to put in contacts so I'm wearing thick-rimmed nerd glasses, and nothing except sweats was calling to me from my closet today. It's not enough that for some reason, my physics teacher decided today was the day to announce a pop quiz - second period on a Monday morning - and I clearly failed it, due to the fact that no one in there has any clue what's going on. 

But it's fourth period, and I feel like vomiting just a little bit, and Sydney Gates announces to the entire class (unintentionally) that she's dating James. She's the pretty type, the kind of girl who makes people fall in love with her by turning her head sharply and letting her blonde hair fly. She's also the kind who's super nice to your face, while organizing your funeral behind the scenes. 

I hate her. 

James is the captain of the swim team. He's the kind of guy whose smile makes you like him instantly. And, I'm extremely, unquestionably, illogically in love with him. 

You don't need to tell me that it's hopeless - I already know. I already know that he's straight, that the few times he's looked at me has been due to the fact that he's my next door neighbor, not because he's felt any deep down longing. I'm not asking you to justify it for me. 

But although it's senior year, and although he's popular enough, I've never known him to be dating anyone. Never, not even when rumors came out about junior prom and all the people who hooked up, his name was never on the list. 

But now, everything has changed.