Route 262

~17~

"James!"

It's colder as I walk further; this branch of the cave is smaller - still big enough for me to feel small and like I could be crushed from an avalanche at any moment - but at the same time, it's smaller than the main branch, to the point where my voice echos less than before.

"Jaaames..."

I squeeze my fingers together - they're freezing. For a moment, I stop, squat down, press my cold hands over my eyes. There's so much that has happened over the past couple hours that's tearing at me right now - a whirlwind inside my head that I can't make stop.

After a moment, I stand up again, biting my bottom lip. I stick my right fingers in my mouth, trying desperately to warm them up, but somehow when I take them out they're colder than ever before.

"James..."

I imagine him now - his perfect face, perfect self, waiting for me at the end. Maybe he'll be leaning against the wall, a smirk on his face. "Congrats Dante," he'd say.

But let's be real, because that's not the way that life works, and it's not the way that it's going to turn out for me. He's not that type; he's the type that Sydney will find when she goes down that main path by herself. She'll find him, they'll make out, she'll bring him back up. She'll forget all about me; a week from right now, things will go back to the way they've always been.

Somehow, that makes a hole in my chest, like a pain that won't go away no matter how hard I try not to think about it. I squeeze my eyes shut, and I give my head a little shake again, pressing on.

This is the time, I think to myself, and I take in a deep breath. This is the time to let him go.

"James-"

And I cut myself off, because I hear something now - almost a clicking. I turn my head, trying to hear where the sound is coming from. I keep walking forward, turning around the corner of the tunnel.

I see it right away, and I jump. It's bundled up, red fabric covering the top half, brown hair that hasn't been washed in days. My heart starts pounding, and I feel all of a sudden the strong feeling washes over me that I'm going to throw up.

It's him.