Trappin Ain't Easy

Three : Unwanted Thoughts - All About Felix.

I got up off the bed and sat in the bathroom for almost an hour. Justice was still asleep so for now I was in deep thought.

Felix ? How did he get my number ? How could he call ? Whose phone was he using ? He couldn't have called ? HE'S DEAD. He's been dead for almost 5 years now.

This was a game. It was a sick game that somebody was playing. But I didn't wanna play this game. I didn't want any parts of this game.

I hadn't forgotten about him. He was always in the back of my mind. But I only thought him when I need to vent. When j needed to laugh really hard. When it got close to his birthday and the day of his death. Also whenever I spoke to his mom.

I couldn't imagine what he could possible say to me. My mind was so lost. I was so confused. Only questions that kept popping up in my head were Why's and Hows'.

- How we Meet -

It all started when I was living back in NY. I just started middle school and I must admit. It wasn't easy for me for those three years.

One day when I was about to get into a conflict with a girl I used to go to school with the tall light skin boy walked to up me. He was covered in tattoos and his smile was so pure. In my mind I thought well what would a boy that's almost 4 years older than me would want do with me ?

I was to young for those type of things.
He walked up to me and smiled. It really creeped me out.

"I'm Felix. And you are ?"
I jut blinked at him a couple times. Looked at him up and down. Then I finally spoke.
"I'm Amethyst . Nice to meet you"

After my fight with the girl. A whole bunch of people were standing around the school. Apparently Felix called his friends to come and defend me. Not only that but he knew my brothers and sister.

When he heard my name. His eyes seemed to twinkle but his face looked shocked.

After that day we became the best of friends. I spoke to him everyday. When I moved to a different school. We still kept in contact. He would always come by after school when he knew I was home and bring food. We would sit in the living room with my brothers and sisters and their friends and laugh for hours. Due to the fact that I was the younger one they would always pick on me about it. But he stuck up for me EVERYTIME.

Within a nick of time he really became my Bestfriend.

Unfortunately, things began to go left. He was in a gang and that seemed to be the only thing he had known. I tried to get him to come out of it so many times. Due to the fact that I didn't wanna lose him to the streets. For me, although he lived that lifestyle, I looked up to him for his realness and what he seemed to bring to the table. He was always there whenever you needed him. You could always count on him. I never had a doubt about him.

When I was in the 8th grade, it was a long approach for me. He was there for me every step of the way. I was troubled back then and was going thru so much.

One night we were suppose to go out to the movies and being that he was my Bestfriend and everybody was couples up I asked him if he could come with me, that way I wouldn't be by myself. He agh mess of course and told me that he would bring my "crush".

My crush of course was his god brother LaQuan.

LaQuan was everything. He was Light skin but Carmel. He had these hazel-green eyes that sparked a mood. He was 6'2 heavy built. He has full lips. Very full lips.
Whenever he was around I would just melt.

But back to that night, they never showed up. So I was furious. I knew it had something to deal with that life that they lived. The next morning I would up to several missed calls from the both. A whole bunch of text messages telling me they were sorry for not coming. I didn't call Felix back until the next day and I BLACKED ON HIM.

Like how could you not show up , you knew that I need you to be there and you didn't. He kept apologizing but I wasn't even trying to hear it. He told me that he's was making a drop for his big homie. But that had nothing to do with me. Of course that made me more mad. I knew that with that lifestyle they lived, making drops was almost a everyday to every week thing. I let it bother me so much because I hated the way that they lived.

Two days later , Felix and I were suppose to meet. He had to talk to me about something important.

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