Save Me

Chapter II

Roger's words hit him like bullets, immediately making his room seem like a safe haven instead of having him out there, in the open with the deadly serious gaze that came from their drummer. A sharp shiver of fear shot down his spine as he tried his best to keep his gaze focused on Roger, but all it did was constantly dart around the room, unable to even look at him, let alone hold any direct eye contact with him. He looked to Brian for help in this situation, almost completely certain that the terror he was feeling at the moment was reflected in his eyes. All he wanted was some type of help, any kind of reassurance that he'd have some backup or safe net to fall back on if he messed up or that he would call off Roger's harshness, but all he got was a sympathetic glace from the older boy as though he was apologizing for his partner's actions before he turned away, looking back down at the ground and shifting his arms against his chest.

He doesn't know, he's bluffing. What proof does he even have? He thought as he attempted to calm himself down with the logic he had in that moment. What evidence did Roger even have? It wasn't like he was like the stereotypical gay man in the first place, or displayed any of the common stereotypes. He hadn't exactly flirted with any man on purpose, hell he had tried to show a lack of emotion towards them in the first place as to not arouse any suspicion. Yet there he was, accusing him of lying to them which he was indeed guilty of doing, but he had specified that it was because he wasn't alright, that he wasn't his normal self, and the cause of all that was his real sexuality. Roger didn't even need to specify it; he just knew that that's exactly what he was talking about.

"Well, answer me John." Roger ordered in a stern voice. John felt the usual response of 'No, I'm fine, honest." Or 'Everything's fine Rog.' Start to build up in his mind, but he couldn't find his voice. His mind rushed to try and put together another sentence to say to him, anything to silence his worries about him so that he wouldn't put either of them in an awkward position, but he found nothing, his voice locking itself in his throat. The only thing that was there was the increasing pressure around him that made his heart hammer against his chest and made his mind go blank. It was that one sentence, that one that let him know he was aware of what was going on, but what he could've done to make him think that in the first place was what his mind was more focused on.

"Roger let up on him. He looks petrified." Brian said softly, flashing a soft glance over to him to try and reassure him that nothing bad was going on, even though nothing at that moment in time was actually going to help him out.

"Bri shut it. That's exactly why. If nothing was going on he wouldn't look like a ghost. So unless he wants me to straight up say it, I suggest he comes out and says it already."

"Roger, you can't just-" He began, placing his hand onto Roger's shoulder to try and calm him down even a tad bit just so that he'd listen to his boyfriend and hopefully let up on the whole topic right now.

"Brian no. I already explained to you what's going on and I am not sitting there any longer while he looks absolutely miserable day in and day out because you want him to do it on his own."

John desperately wanted to get up and leave, just to escape back to his room and lock the door, just to forget that this was all happening right now. It was all just some nightmare he was experiencing as a punishment for not having to deal with any from the previous night. Yet it all felt too real. There was no bizarre lapse of time or any hazy sight in front of him to let him know that this was something he'd wake up out of, no random change of scenery to let him escape this living hell that he was currently trapped in, just something, anything, out of the ordinary to let him know that this would end. But all he got was the other two's arguments about what they were doing for the time being. He felt so small compared to them, like they were these demons towering meters above him that were now debating his fate ahead of him, whether or not he would survive it and how treacherous it should be for him to cross it while they watch out of entertainment and joy, laughing at his misfortune because they just knew he was too weak to actually make it through.