Confusion and Illusions

What Just happened?

"What time is it?" I looked over to see Josh still asleep. I noticed it was still dark outside, it had to be at least 1 am. I leaned over to check my phone which was a good 2 feet below me. "Fuck!" I whispered as I started to fall off of my bed. I caught my balance and returned to where I was laying. I felt something grab me, I looked behind me noticing it was Josh. I forgot he was here. I thought to myself. I groaned.

He pulled me into him wrapping his heavy arm around my waist. Shit. Shit. Shit. What the fuck is going on? My thoughts were racing. I had tried getting his arm off of me but it was too heavy. Once I had finally managed to sliver out he grabbed me with speed and pulled me closer than the last time. My back was being consumed by his chest.

He mumbled in his sleep.

"What?" I whispered and waited for a response. Oh whatever. I had finally gone back to sleep.

It was still dark outside when I woke up again. Even stranger this time, Josh and I were facing each other, in the exact same position. Our elbows bent as a support for our heads and facing each other. He doesn't even snore. Seriously this guy is a fucking angel. Like how do you look this good sleeping? My heart pounded so loud I could hear its sound waves clash against my wall. Oh god. Why is his hand moving? What the fuck? Seriously, is he even conscious right now? Okay, now things were getting strange, did he only do this when I was awake? He softly placed his hand on my cheek the way I did to him when we were downstairs. I held in my breath, fearing I might wake him. I slowly removed his hand from my face. 

Really, quite strange. I thought to myself, my thoughts were so loud I couldn't even tell if I was speaking or not. He moved his hand again. Okay this guy seriously needed to stop moving, the first time I get to sleep in about a week but all he does is move around waking me up twice an hour. I looked around my room only to feel some strange aspect enclosing my fingers. Now he's holding my hand, great. I didn't know what to do so I let my hand stay in between us surrounded by his. Fuck his hand is warm. I tried pulling mine away, only to have him grab it tighter than before. I started to slide out each individual finger, and after what seemed like hours my hand had finally broke free. I sighed in relief. 

Turning away from him I felt his breath on my neck. His arm slithered up my thigh and grasped onto my waist without me expecting it. I let out a relatively loud groan. Shit. I looked over, he was still asleep. This guy sleeps through everything. He held me close squeezing me so tightly I had to smile even though it felt like it was a thousand degrees in my room. His face slowly inched closer to mine, and out of no where he kissed my cheek. My stomach filled with knots, my smile grew even more. He had to be teasing me, there was no way he knew he was doing all of this in his sleep, right?

Ding ding da ding ding ding dong dong. Fuck! I can't believe I forgot to turn off that piece of shit alarm. I leaned off of my bed and pressed dismiss. 

"hmmm?" Josh moaned as I rushed out of my bed and stood on the hardwood floors that were ice cold against my feet. "What time is it?"

"It's 6:30, go back to sleep okay?"

"Okay. Love-okay." He wrapped himself in my brown blanket. I left my room as quietly as I could. 

"Well what am I gonna do now? He doesn't have to wake up until 8 because he has work at 8:30." An hour and a half of nothing. I walked into the kitchen, this place was nasty as fuck, dishes were pilled up and trash wasn't thrown out. I decided to clean for an hour, once I had finally finished I sat in the kitchen in even more silence.

"Oh, I knew I left this outside." It was my sketch pad, I had to slowly tip toe back into my room without making any noise. Ha he's so cute when he's asleep. He was curled up in my bed, because if he wasn't curled he would be hanging off, seeing how tall he was. He encased himself in my blanket and grabbed a pillow and held it exactly the way he was holding me. I left in even more silence.

I walked into the front room, my sister was sleeping on the couch, of course she was, rooms were too mainstream for her.

"Morning." She rolled over and smiled.

"Hey kiddo."

"Is Josh still here?"

"Yeah, he is."

"I thought he wasn't sleeping ov-"

"Yeah I thought so too, go back to sleep okay?"

"Alright. Night."

She lay there, even more silence fell upon this huge house, I could feel the walls caving in around me. What is he doing to me? Does he even know what he did? Why is he making me fall even harder for him? I waited, turned on the tellie and put the volume to 4. It was 8 o'clock, and the movie had just ended. I had begun to fall asleep again, but then Josh walked in. 

"Hey." He sat on the floor and crossed his legs like a kinder kid.

"Hello, sleep well?" 

"Yeah I did actually, what are you watching?"

"Oh nothing, just a movie."

"Oh interesting," He stood up and opened the door, "Well I actually have to go to work now-"

"Yeah, I know. Do you want me to walk you to your car?"

"Sure." He smirked as we both walked down the steps to his massive truck. How suitable, massive boy, massive car. Even though I was completely aware it was his dads, I was still questioning why he drove it here.

"Well here you go."

"Yeah, here I go. I'm just going to be heading off now."

"Of course."

"I'll see you later okay?"

"Okay." I stood there, waiting, I didn't know what was going to happen next. He hugged me. Simple as that. Just a hug, but it was the best hug I've ever received from him. He held me like he did at 4 in the morning in his sleep. He grabbed my body and held me closer than usual, he wasn't the one to pull away this time, I was. Why did I pull away? 

"I'll see you sometime in the next couple of weeks okay?" He told me as he got into his car.

"Yeah." 

He drove off, leaving me standing there. There was more silence than there is within my own coffin.