Forget About Me »

N I N E

December 18th, 2012

Alex could feel the sweat accumulating onto his palms. He already had wiped his hands onto his jeans multiple times, but with no luck. Eventually he just gave up and hoped Tay wouldn't reach for his hands and he would have to remember to not grab hers. 

It had been three years. Three wonderful years with Tay, few fights but many laughs and Alex felt like today was the day. 

Alex's original plan had been to propose on Christmas Day, something romantic and cheesy like she had talked about. She always liked to talk while watching movies, pointing out small things almost as if she was dropping subtle hints to him and finally he had started to pick up on them. 

Tay needed to be picking up on her own hints though. Multiple times throughout November had she seemed to drop hints pertaining to Christmas, but had suddenly made plans to leave Christmas Eve to spend time with family. She hadn't invited Alex to participate with her, and even if she had he wouldn't have gone through with what he had planned regardless for fear of embarrassing himself in front of her family if she said no. 

Today was the day he had decided to ask. There was nothing special about the eighteenth, but maybe that was why he had decided to choose it. The day was a Tuesday, but he had decided maybe he could make something of such a plain day. The two would have a reason to celebrate such a meaningless day no matter when it came up, especially on plain boring Tuesdays. 

The only problem was beginning to become the fact Tay wasn't home. They had moved in together a couple of months ago which felt like bliss to him. The apartment they had chosen was small and occasionally had the faint smell of rubbing alcohol they could never place. Tay had been the only one of the two to claim to have seen the fabled cockroaches that seemed to infect every apartment room in every cliche television show. Alex had a sneaking suspicion that she had made the entire ordeal up, but thus far had no way to prove it. 

When the large front door creaked open, a rush of cold arm suddenly filling the room. Tay had always loved the cold, no wonder she loved leaving the apartment this time of year. Her dark hair was covered in small flakes, easily identifiable as snow. 

"Is it snowing now?" Alex asked dumbly, as if the answer couldn't have been obvious. He couldn't have imagined how else her hair would have gotten that way. 

Tay's teeth bit into a small part of her bottom lip as her mouth grew into a small smile. She nodded happily. "So much." A giggle erupted from her as she shut the door behind her, her scarf swinging behind her. 

"You always keep it so hot in here. I never understand it." Tay commented, walking to the thermometer as a dots of snow trailed in her steps. 

Alex cleared his throat, subconsciously wiping his hands on my jeans once more. "Tay can you come here for a second." 

"Just a second." Somehow Tay had managed to sneak by, her having disappeared from the wall. Her head suddenly popped through the small window in the kitchen. "Making something to drink." Her head quickly disappeared into the kitchen again as Alex heard water pouring from the sink. 

Again, he cleared his throat. This time, he went over to her. 

The sudden realization of his situation suddenly hit him with his first step. What the hell was he doing? He was really going to do this, spend his entire life with her. The two had been barely able to afford the apartment. Tay was going to college and with that came enough student loan bills. Alex had a job but it wasn't the best. How were they supposed to afford this? 

The decision was already made for him though as he felt his hand reaching deep into his coat pocket. The action would have seemed strange and he would never be able to come up with an excuse. 

He needed to do it. Another throat clear. 

Tay turned her attention from the black rusted tea kettle, a gift. Before he could process he had grabbed her hand. Damn it. He had forgotten. 

"Your hands are all sweaty, I told you that the house is too warm." Tay's laugh filled the room again, her eyes bright as she looked back to Alex again. 

"Tay, will you marry me?" The words escaped before he could grab the box or even get onto the floor. He had never been one for anticipation anyways and there had certainly not been any. He felt so stupid. All the movies, all of the plans. He had blown it. 

Proposing in their ugly kitchen, the smell of the old stove burning the kettle soon filling up the room with a light layer of fog like it did every single time it was used. Alex could feel himself beginning to cry but not because of the milestone, but because he fucked it up. 

Tay deserved so much better. She deserved a parade with things she loved. She loved parades, she talked about them a lot. 

"W-why are you crying, Alex?" Tay's voice was soft, almost sympathetic. He looked back up to her, the snow having melted, a thin shine having collected in her eyes, drowning the stars that once occupied there. 

"Let me try again. I messed up. This isn't how I wanted it." His voice came out frantic. "I wasn't supposed to grab your hand, I wanted to make it sweet and all I did was mess this all up." His voice only continued to get more and more frantic as he carried on. He was now aware that what tears had begun to trickle down to his chin, falling onto his shirt and leaving small dark spots. 

Alex's words suddenly stopped in his throat when he felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around him. He suddenly felt warm, his chest heaving and then suddenly returning to normal almost as if a switch had gone off inside of him. 

"Yes. I will marry you."