Lost in the Sea of Lies || Kylo Ren x Reader

1.) Anger Consumes

To be in love with Kylo Ren is like being in love with death itself. He's got you practically wrapped around his finger. When he throws his infamous tantrums, you're always there to calm him. However, he hasn't always been the most stable person.

Kylo's self-destructive personality has never been the best. He hates himself more than anything, and that hatred drives him. That hatred lured him to the dark side. You find yourself constantly confused as to how a being so beautiful could harness such disgust.

People often said you were just blinded by love, but you knew it was more than that. Your love for Kylo was inseparable, but you weren't blinded. You slept soundly at night without fear because of the way he held you. The way his arms wrapped around you in such security assured you everything was alright. But in the long run, you were deceived. You weren't safe; you knew that. Though, as long as he was with you, it was seen as a lie. It was as if nothing could ever hurt you.

Nothing you'd ever expect in the least.

That was until the Resistance blew up the First Order's latest creation. They were building another Death Star, larger than the last one. It was nearing its final stages of completion, but it was reduced to clouds of dust and smoke by the Resistance.

Kylo was beyond angry. Even "infuriated" would not describe the wrath he harbored. His cold mask stared at the man who dared to bring him such bad news. Kylo lifted a shaking hand, using the Force to press the innocent messenger against the wall. He could feel the Force pressing against his throat as his airway began to slowly collapse. Sharp shards of metal from the tantrum tore through his uniform and began to scrape down his back, ripping at his flesh. He tried to scream, but only a raspy breath came out as his face began to turn purple.

Kylo felt no mercy, only rage. He took the man and threw him to the other wall, smashing him against the exposed metal once more. The blood began to pool down around Kylo's boots, but his cold, lifeless mask offered no empathy. The mask made Kylo feel powerful like an effortless poker face. Without emotions, he was always feared because no one knew what to expect.

The man stopped struggling as he fell unconscious. Kylo threw him to the ground and left him there. A trail of bloody footsteps followed alongside the singed pathway his dragging lightsaber left.

He felt cold and soulless. Another fit of anger came over him as he slashed more computers. Kylo's screams were obvious and echoed through every corridor. You came running down the hall, filled to the brim with worry.

"Kylo! Stop! What's wrong-" You were suddenly thrown to the ground.

Kylo walked menacingly towards you as you trembled. He'd never acted this way before. He used the Force to bring you to your feet. You stood frozen as fear coursed through your veins, but you tried to hide it.

He drew the lightsaber up to your neck, looking at you through that lifeless mask. You tried to read him by his breathing to no avail.

"Are you scared?" Kylo asked you in a flat tone.

"N-No," you stuttered out, lying through your teeth.

"Don't lie to me," he said, pressing his lightsaber closer to your neck. You could feel the heat radiating from the beam. A single tear ran from your eye, singeing as it hit the blade.

Kylo deactivated the lightsaber and returned it to his belt. "Run from me if you'd like; that's what everyone else does."

You didn't know what to say. Sure, you were horrified, but something stopped you from running. Your legs refused to move.

Even from behind the mask, you could sense he was conflicted. You longed to know what was going on inside that head of his; you knew it was dark. There was nothing behind those eyes except anger and hatred. Realization of what he had just done would only intensify those thoughts.

He turned and walked down the hallway to his room without another word. You tried to call after him, but the words wouldn't come out.