Lost in the Sea of Lies || Kylo Ren x Reader

2.) The Sensation of Hopelessness

You knocked on the door to his room, too afraid to punch in the code to open it.

"Kylo, can I come in?"

There was no response, only silence. From beyond the door, whimpers could be heard, but they were suppressed. It was as if he was trying to hide them.

"Kylo..."

He wouldn't let you in. You tried punching in the code, but he must have changed it. The door remained shut. You had a feeling you might be sleeping on the cold, unforgiving floor outside of his room. Just the thought of it made your back ache.

You slid your back down the wall, sitting on the floor. Sure, you were stressed, but it could be worse. It was pointless worrying about everything as long as it would fix itself.

You began to feel lost; it was your room too. If you really wanted to, you could just call a technician and have them let you in. You couldn't bring yourself to do it, though. Kylo needed time to himself.

A single tear streamed down your face as you realized Kylo was mad at you. However, he was not mad because of you. His anger derived from within himself, but he always pinned the blame on someone else... even his own failures.

Your eyes felt heavy under the weight of the galaxy. Whether or not everything would be redeemed, you were uncertain. However, there was no time to think about it as your eyelids fell shut, and you dozed off.

•

Kylo Ren looked at you through that same hollow mask. The cold metal pressed against your skin as he breathed angrily.

"I hate you!" He screamed, but it didn't sound human. There was no way it was really him, even if the sound was distorted by the mask.

He unsheathed his lightsaber, tilting his head to inspect it.

"What a fine weapon, wouldn't you say? I certainly wouldn't want to be killed with something so dangerous." He was amusing himself as he stared at the beam. The lightsaber spun quickly, knocking down a singed tree as he spun in the snow. "Slick." He chuckled.

You stood out on the white ground, feeling the cold flakes on your face. It was almost blinding how much was coming down. The only thing to contrast against the light scene was Kylo's black attire. He swung the beam again, striking the snow.

His mask tilted towards you, watching your face. You swallowed hard in uneasiness. He walked closer to you, almost coming in contact.

"You seem uncomfortable... and cold. You know what is associated with cold? Fear. You're afraid. But anger is warmth. Hatred," he whispered. "One must rule the Galaxy alone!" He cried out, running the lightsaber through you.

You cried out in pain. How could he-

•

You woke up screaming and crying, but you couldn't sit up. There was no way to know what was restraining you in the dark. It made you unsettled and cautious. Whatever it was, it shifted slightly, combing through your hair slowly and soothingly. It's limbs were wrapped around your waist, holding you close. You struggled to observe your surroundings: blankets and a pillow. You came to realize you were in Kylo's bed. At some point in the night, he must've brought you in from the hallway and tucked you in.

He kissed the back of your head, holding you close, but not uttering a word. He was still mad, but he couldn't leave you behind. As much as you thought he didn't care, he still did somehow. You felt safe again. It was all just a dream.

Besides, Kylo Ren was on the dark side where love was not forbidden. He was far better than any Jedi scum. He'd never leave you.

With that, your breathing was steady as you drifted to sleep once more.

~~
Yes, yes, short chapter. I'm sorry. I haven't really been feeling on top of things. I hope to update tomorrow night as well. Thanks!

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