Eight

Food Fight

     Jamie gulps.

     "Why are there decorations on my locker?" Rufus asks. His narrowed eyes shift from Jamie to me. "Could you please explain this?"

     I start to put on one of Jamie's extra hoodies and slink away, but Jamie grabs me by the sleeve and hisses, "Don't you dare!"

     We stand there uncomfortably staring at each other. Then, Jamie begins to stutter, "We, um, I mean--"

     Rufus sighs. "You know what? I don't care. Just get it down." And he walks away.

     "Oh," Jamie sobs, and buries her head in my shoulder. "Sarah, I am officially going to die. Please, please, please knock me over the head with a textbook so I forget this ever happened."

     "I'm on it."

     She immediately pulls away from me. "Wait, seriously?"

     "I'm not going to hit you. But I am going to set things straight." I start to head down the hallway after him.

     "Sarah, no! You'll only make things worse!"

     But I'm already almost caught up with him. "Hey, man! Hey! Rufus!"

     I eventually get him to turn around. "Yes?"

     "Look, Jamie and I never meant for this to happen. The birthday thing was a fake so we could spy on a teacher. We didn't even know it was your locker. When the vice principal came, well, we panicked. I promise, Jamie isn't weird or anything. So please try to give her a break, okay?"

     "But if nothing weird was going on, then why did she seem so guilty?"

     "Because you kinda scared her. I mean, have you ever had someone incredibly physically attractive glare directly at you before?"

     "What?"

     It takes me a couple seconds to realize what I've just said out loud. "Er, nothing. I just meant-- Ugh! I'm normal, I swear. Be nice to Jamie. Bye!" I run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. Until it occurs to me that math class is behind me. Oh, well. Exponent multiplication isn't going anywhere. ...Right? I'm sure my class will survive without me.

.  .  .

     "Move over, chubs."

     "Oof! Hey, you just cut in line!"

     "Says who?"

     "Says me and my witnesses, who also saw you cut! Right, guys?"

     At this point, everyone surrounding the two casually glances away and backs up until a circle begins to form.

     "Come on, kid. You can wait thirty extra seconds for your precious cafeteria pizza. It's probably full of slugs, anyway."

     "No, I can't wait an extra thirty seconds. And don't you dare insult heaven's most devine creation!"

     "Watch me. ...I bet it's total health-freak pizza, too. Like the crust is wheat instead of regular, and the cheese is made of tofu."

     At the word tofu, Billy is completely enraged. Before anyone can process what is happening, he backs up, then springs forward with a punch to the nose.

     Alice runs a hand under her now bloody nose. Her nose ring falls out and lands on the floor with a clink. The whole cafeteria watches as her face turns a murderous shade of red. Then, she slowly regains composure. Or so it seems.