If I Ever

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If I ever wrote 5sos a letter:

Dear losers,

First I just want to say I love you and you should father my children :)
Anyways, I find it really disrespectful that you guys look the way you are. I mean you guys are too attractive, I don't think my smol being can handle this. Also the fact you guys are never around where I am. You're always in the north or across the ocean. Do you guys know you're the topic on fanfiction? If you don't know what fanfiction is, it's basically how we're going to be so read some to be prepared.

P.S

Don't forget about the first sentence or I'll stab Luke :) BYE

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