Right Kind Of Wrong

you can't have it both ways

The next morning I wake up and see Jay standing over me ... I'm super sprawled out on this bed in the guest room of Zare and marks house .. I think I have to be dreaming .. I shake my head and turn toward the wall .when I turn back over on my back he's still standing there .. he says in his bedroom voice ur killing me .. he says this when he wants sex, but maybe at a place where we can't do that .. meaning I want you .but I know we can't at this very moment .. I put my hand up and put my finger in my mouth and Bite it .. he says don't do that .. I smile . He says as he's climbing up over me ..you are not being fair .. I say why do I have too? He starts to kiss me , I turn my face . But put my arms around his neck . I turn back to him and he puts his forehead to mine .. he says I'm sry . I know I shouldn't have done that .. you just looks so dam irresistible. He looks down at my top .. then own down me... he looks back in my eyes .his eyes are so dark brown that almost black the way they are when he really wants me .. it's killing me .. I want him right now .I know I could . It would be so easy ..and so dam good .I'd be crawling the dam walls he would take me there with lil effort . If he ever does give it his all I'm fucked ... I tell him Jay I love you , I can't be ur sometimes .. if we aren't together I won't be ur every now and then whore.. he kisses my forehead and climbed off the bed .. he was gone . I cried for an hour . It was the most bizarre thing to be so turned on and ready and feel the love for this person but can't allow ur self to be disrespected . . Later that morning I go cook breakfast for everyone. Mark is all about this breakfast. He says u can cook for me anytime u want to . Dam this is delicious! We all sit down to eat .. Tammie is next to me , Mel did I see Jason this morning, yeah he came in like the snatch burgler .. Zare laughs so hard she's stood up and is waving her arms .. Tammie's monkeys are mating again and mark has tears ... they can not believe I've just said that .. mark say holy shit u just said that with a straight face he is wiping tears off his face .. after a few secs. I say he of course did NOT get it... Tammie gives me the whatcha talking bout Willis look , she can't believe that ... mark says what to Tammie .. she says Mel has never Said no to him ever.. she thinks he's a sex god.. Mel does this have to do with last night . Tam ask .. no! This has to do with we broke up almost three weeks ago and I ain't seen or heard from him in that time.. till he saw me yesterday at his grandfather's house .. just cuz I'm eye candy for a night don't mean u can have a taste anytime u want . Zare stands up and high fives me . U tell it girl Zare says .. we all laugh .. mark says just what took place last night mel? I put my head down .. Tammie says oh she made out with Matt ..she whispers on ur couch .. Zare looks at me and says well done ..and giggles .mark says cougar !! We all bust out laughing. Zare says if only .. we are laughing so hard .. I love this family. . Later that morning Zare and the boys leave to go see her friends. . Mark is in the garage pretending to fix something. . Tammie and I settle in on the couch for a giggle session .. we have coffee in hand ... she tells me she wants it to completely over with Joe .. I'm shocked .. yeah. Mel it's not right any more .. she tells me ... wow .i say ... she says wanna move back in with you .. OK I say .. ur side of the bed might smell like Jay .. but he's gone now.. we laugh . She says mmmmm Jay smells good . I Smack Her .. Mel Why And How did u even manage to say no to Jay this morning ? She ask .. I say ... Tammie I told him I can't be his bitch on stand by... she laughs . Neve ever let anyone tell u ,u don't have a way with words... she says .. I'm serious Tammie . No ! I say ...