Ailbhe

Chapter Four: Why did you leave me?

Weep not, child, Weep not, my darling
With these kisses let me remove your tears. The ravening clouds shall not long be victorious They shall not long possess the sky.
- Walt Whitman

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Tom and Ailbhe sat across from each other on the sofa. Tom was reading the script that he had to have partly memorised before they left in two days for AOU filming, Ailbhe sat there her face was focused and her forehead wrinkles were scrunched together, like she was comprehending something. 

Tom kept glancing over at her in between turning the pages. Ailbhe lifted her head up and stared at him.

"Can I ask you a question, Hiddleston?" She asked quietly.

He nodded and tossed his papers away. "Sure, what's up? You've been thinking for awhile."

"Why did you leave me?"

Not a simple question, it felt like a ton of bricks had been laid on top of Tom's back. He rubbed his face, he had been expecting this question for weeks. He didn't know how to answer.

"Because, I was an idiot." He started, burying his head in his hands. "I loved fame more then I loved you. Because I was a bastard that had his bloody head stuck in the clouds." He glanced at Ailbhe, her eyes filled with tears. "Because, " he added with a sigh. " I was afraid of being a dad."

"But, why were you afraid when you've always wanted to be a dad?" Ailbhe questioned, wiping away her tears. She crossed the living room to sit down next to him on the sofa.

"I was young and naive, I didn't know how to be a father. I've been burdened with the guilt of leaving you alone, with a strange family and them seeing you grow and live life as I lived a life without you." Tom sobbed into his hands. "I'm so sorry, will you ever forgive me?" 

He felt Ailbhe scoot closer to him and her arm rubbing his back. "I'm still..." She paused, trying to figure out the right words to say. "I'm still angry that you left me. I'm still dealing with all of my emotions since this whole deal started. I left my whole life back in the states, my family and friends," her voice cracked. " to come live with you. It's not an easy thing to forgive right away, Hiddleston."

Ailbhe pulled away from Tom and leaned back into the sofa, pulling her legs up to her chest. "I think it'll take time and patience for me to understand everything and to figure how to deal with my new life. " she mumbled into her legs.

Tom stood up from the couch, wiping his eyes fiercely. "Excu-" his voice cracked too and he cleared his voice. "Excuse me, I need to go finish some things in my room." 

He looked down at Ailbhe, her face full of fear. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Do not fret little one," he bent down in front of her and looked her in the eyes. "I'm not mad at you. I just need to thinks things over, okay?"

She nodded, her eyes adverting his, he saw her chin quiver. Tom pulled Ailbhe into an embrace and she sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She wept.

Tom pulled out of the embrace to look at her in surprise. "Why are you saying you're sorry? You did nothing wrong." He whispered loudly.

She shook her head, still weeping. "You asked for my forgiveness and I couldn't."

Tom's face melted. "I wasn't expecting you too, darling! You've been through so much, and I was the one you gave you all this hurt and anger because I was selfish. I just needed to ask, to let you know how sorry I am. "

Ailbhe's weeping slowly turned into crying, then the crying slowly turned into sniffles. Tom situated himself on to the sofa and held her in his arms, playing with her auburn hair. He felt her body relax and he knew she fell asleep. He sat there for awhile playing with her hair as she laid in his arms.

Waiting until she was fully asleep, he carried her up to her bedroom. He laid her down on her bed, pulling the covers over her long form. He scanned her room, proud of how she's assembled the room.

Next to her bed were two little bed stands one on each side of the bed. She had two picture frames, one of her with her family and the other with her best friend. He sighed, he caused so much pain, not only to her, but to her family and friends. They lost a daughter, sister, niece, cousin, best friend, and he caused it.

He caused it.