ASLEEP YET AWAKE

don't enter my territory

The view was enchanting. A warm breeze blew around. The stars of the sky were reflicting in the lake below. The lake looked almost like a mirror image of the sky above. Little white diamonds shone the sky. In front of the lake Ray sat. His legs stretched in front of him.

He motioned for me to sit down next to him. I sat down. The grass felt moist under my fingertips.

"Do you remember the day we were star gazing?"he asked me.

"Yes..". I replied stil looking at the stars. "Do you remember you told me that people became stars after the died?"

"Yeah. I always thought my mom was a star". He told me.

"I have found Mia's star. It is the most brightest one". I told him excitedly and pointed towards the new star.

He chuckled at my childishness and pulled me closer to him. I rested my head on his chest and we together gazed at the stars.

"I wish Mia was here too". I whispered.

"It is your dream. You can call her if you want. She will be here". He told me.

I silently wished for Mia to come and to my surprise she came instantly.

"I thought you were missing me". She asked me.

"Yeah. I wanted to tell that I have found you among the stars". I told her happily. She sat down beside me. At that moment I felt truly content. It was just like the old times. We three always used to hang out together.

"Oh! that is great". She smiled at me.

"Why didn't you told me about your star?" I asked her.

"I was waiting for you to discover it". She told me with a smile.

"I think I should go now. It has been a while since I am here". I stood up abruptly.

Ray grabbed my hand and started pulling me down again. "But you just came. Dont go". He requested me.

"Dont go Lara. Stay". Mia pouted at me.

"I will return back soon". I told them and withdrew from my dream.

I woke up abruptly and as soon as I woke up I knew what made me leave my happy dream. It was morning and the sun was shining brightly through my window. I nuzzled in my blanket. I hated this bright sunlight. It annoyed the hell out of me. I climbed out of bed and walked to the window. I shut all the windows and drew the curtains.

The thick curtains of my room shielded me from the light of the room and I felt safe.

I again climbed under the covers. I wanted to finish my incomplete dream because I knew they must be waiting for me there.

I closed my eyes and just as i did so my door clicked open. My eyes flutered open and there in the doorway stood mom.

I instantly panicked and my heart beat amplified. I don't know what happened but the panic rose higher and higher.

Mom was smiling at me and she held a tray ladden with food in her hand. Her smile vanished as she saw my panic stricken face. She rushed inside and placed the tray on my bedside table. She picked up the glass of water and handed it to me. I gulped it down and relaxed a bit.

"Are you fine sweetie?" She questioned me.

"Yes..yes...I am fine". I stammered a bit.

Her eyes left my face and wandered across my room and a look of pure shock settled on her face. She looked around the room taking in everything. Her eyes settled on the pile of packaged food on my study table. But she did not say anything.

She looked at me questioningly and once again her eyes settled on my face but this time her gaze was not soft and loving but scrutinizing. The shocked expression on her face grew more intense and then suddenly it was replaced by a look of sadness. I could not tell what she saw on my face but whatever she saw disheartened her.

She reached forward to touch me but I recoiled. She did not supress me. She just looked at me.

"Lara.. why are you doing this to yourself?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

I did not answer.

She moved towards the window and I panicked again. I knew she wanted to open the windows but I did not want her to do that. The panic rose and I started shaking. She drew apart the curtains and as soon as I saw the bright light I Screamed "noooo". She stood their bewildered. She was utterly shocked. I began sobbing uncontrolably. They were not light sobs but heart wrenching sobs.

Mom ran to me and yelled "lara.. lara.. ".

I sobbed more loudly. "I want to sleep". I spoke in between the sobs.

"Lara listen to me..". She begged me.

"I want to sleep". I chanted again.

She understood that I wanted to stay alone and stood back.

I buried myself under the blankets and closed my eyes. I wanted to return to the safety of my dreams. I wanted Ray and Mia.

I don't know what happened after that. I don't know whether mom left or not. I sobbed continuosly until sleep consumed me.

My bed felt safe and in the past few days it has acted as a medium which transported me to the world of my dreams. A world where i felt happy and alive. A place where I was not alone. If I had the choice I would have abandoned my real life and adopted the world of my dreams because it was the place where I belonged. My real life was only a mess. But the world of my dreams was a paradise, an anchor to my emotions and I craved to be there with the people I loved the most. I wanted to stay with them and never open my eyes. This real world now held no meaning for me. All I wanted was to dream and get lost in the boat of my dreams that sailed in the waters of happiness...