Muslimah Next Door { Editing }

{ 23 } I Can't Lose Her

{ Saabira }

I unlock the door to my apartment and walk into the warm room. I take off my scarf and throw it aside.

It's been a long day. I wish I never had to go back there. I wish I never received those notes. I wish I had everything in my life again. My parents, brother and -above all- my memory. I have my brother now,  but I hardly even know him. I have no memories of him. Those memories died with my parents.

I can wish for anything, but I know for a surety that life isn't fair.

I walk into my bedroom and put my regular clothes on. I walk to the kitchen to grab something to eat. I take some strawberries in a pack and a Nutella jar. As I go to sit down on the couch, my phone rings from on the side table. I answer it.

"Sabbiraaaaaaaaa!" I hear Ayan yell from the other side of the line.

"Well, Salam to you too," I reply. She chuckles and replies with her Salam.

"Why is life so unfair?" She whined.

"Tell me about it," I rub my eyes tiredly.

It's been a long day.

"What's wrong in your unfair life?" I ask.

I continue to eat my strawberries, making sure to dip them each time in the Nutella.

"The one guy I like is going to get married," she sniffled.

I put the jar down. Ayan is having boy troubles?

Who is this guy?

Every time she brought up the guy, I never got his full name. It's like fate doesn't want me to know him yet. It's weird, and it gets me wondering.

"His name is Mohammed, it doesn't matter anyway, he told me to move on," her voice breaks.

I want to wrap my arms around her and never let go. I don't want to be like my brother, the one who let's go in times of need.

I shake my head. I need to be with my best friend right now. I need to get my brother out of my head. 

He forgot the only sister he had. He forgot me.

"Sabbira?" Ayan's voice calls startling me.

I clear my throat and let go of my thoughts.

"Sorry."

"Saabira, help! I don't what to do. He won't leave my mind," her voice shakes as she begs for help.

"Okay, well, let's meet with Mohammed tomorrow, then. Also, isn't it funny that I'm also getting married to a guy named Mohammed?" I start laughing.

"I doubt he's the same one, if he is, you'll be sorry!" She's joking, but I can sense she might have thought about the fact that I might have stolen her man.

"I have to go and help my mother; her sickness is getting worse these days," she hangs up before we can even say Salam.

I need a nap anyway. I haven't had time to sleep lately.

As I close my eyes I hear a faint knock on the door. I just want to sleep, is that too much to ask for?

I get up, grab a scarf, and wrap it around my head.

Opening the door reveals someone I don't expect. They look depressed, on the brink of tears.

I open the door wide.

{ Khalid }

"Are you not going to go after her? She's your sister!" Ifrah says after Sabbira leaves.

I sigh, taking it all in. I had no idea that she would react like this, but how else would she have reacted? With open arms, welcoming me? Offering to pay for those smoothies we both loved when we were kids? Inviting me to her apartment?

"Maybe you should go over to her apartment and try to explain your situation," Yasin suggests.

I nod and walk out of the house. I can't stand in that house anymore. I'm too anxious to see my sister.

After the accident, Sabbira slipped into a coma, even the doctor thought she couldn't make it. If she did, there would be long-term effects. She was in a coma for one month.

Yusuf stayed at the hospital at nights and I would come over after school.

I continue to drive thinking about the incident. A incident that tore us apart. Tore me apart from my family and friends.

Sabbira surprisingly woke up, the doctors were shocked. But it wasn't time for her to die, she lived Alhumdulilah. Half of her childhood was taking away that night. Her parents were taken away. I was taken away. She had to deal with that and nobody was there for her. I wasn't there. And you know who's fault it that it Yusuf who tore from me.

I could have helped get her memory back somehow. I could stand right beside her.

Buts it's all could have but no I did.

Allah had other plans for us. Our life was written down before we were even born. That's the miracle of Allah. You can't change whats done.

But sometimes one you lose those you love you let go. That's what I did after I was take away from Sabbira I let her go. I became depressed.
And for those who become depressed loses faith in them self , others and may Allah forgive but I lost faith in him. Not until I want back to the Quran.

Reading the words sent down from Allah. Indeed with hardship [will be] comes a ease. After every difficulty there is relief. (94:5)

That Allah tested me and I failed. I failed the one that created me. Created man  from sounding clay, from mud moulded into shape.  ( 15:26)

I failed those who loved me.

I came back to look for my sister. Only to find somewhat struggling too. But she had faith.

She kept everything in her. She had nothing left anyway. Her parents died, her own brother was taken away from her and her memory was taken also. But unlike me she kept Allah in her mind and in her heart.

I need my sister back, I suffered much to get to this point. She's all I have left close to a family. I can't lose her as I lost my parents.

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Not edited .

Salam guys!

I know it's been a long time since I have updated. I also know this was a short chapter.

School is about to be over!!
Ramadan is almost in!

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