Daddy's still here.

Watching life happen

ABBIE'S POV

The moment my little girl left my arms and I watch her enter her fathers, the man of my dreams arms I knew that was the last time I would ever hold her physically. My body was numb and cold, the edges of my eyes getting darker and darker. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I watched him smile down at our baby. That was the last thing I saw before everything went blank; I felt as though I was swallowed into a black hole and floating in the abyss.

"Hello?" My voice echoed back to me and I wrapped my arms around my self as I took wobbly steps through the darkness.

Tears stung my eyes as they fell in an endless flow; I sobbed loudly and wiped the tears even though they never stopped.

"Jason." I cry. How am I going to go on in this without him? I don't think I can do it.

I'm scared. I'm alone.

It feels like forever before something changes.

A small dot of light appeared in the distance so peeked up from behind my arms that rest on my knee that are pulled up to my chest. I hear someone crying. Slowly I stand up and walk towards the light; as I reach out to touch it, the darkness disappears and I'm in my bedroom. 

Jason.

I walk out into the hall and the crying gets louder.

"Jason?" I peek into the room that we turned into the nursery and saw Jason by the diaper bag. His back to me, I run to him, but I go right through him. I turn around to see the tears forming in his eyes as he looks down at my letter.

I put my hand on his cheek, caressing his face; my eyes spilling over with tears all over again.

"Jason, baby. I love you." I watch as he just stares at the folded piece of paper and than he opened it slowly.

I close my eyes and I can already recall all of my words on that piece of paper.

"Dear Jason,
Fewww we have been through a lot together, but you know what? I wouldn't have picked a different life to live. I spent everyday falling in love with you all over again. You showed me what love should be like and how life should be spent doing. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so scared you'd leave me..... But after I thought about it, it was silly of me to worry because no matter what you'll always love me, that's just who you are and I love you all the more for that. I couldn't have found a better man to fall head over heels with, I couldn't have found a better man to be my baby's father. I love you so much and I can't wait to see Maddie and you again amongst the stars with me.
                                         Your love- Abby"

Jason cries like I've ever seen before and his agony is heartbreaking.

"I'm sorry baby." I whisper. I'm so sorry I left you. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. Jason slowly stands up when our baby starts crying in the other room; I follow behind him and watch as he lays down next to her in our bed.

"Shhh daddy's still here." He coos to her.

I look around and I see a bag with a small tag that says "Maddie" on it. I put my hands over my mouth as new tears fall; he named her the name I wanted. Making my way to the bed, I lay down on the other side of our daughter; the three of us together like we were meant to be. Jason stares at our stare as silent tears fall down his face and my letter tightly held to his chest. He looks passed Maddie than and right at me. My heart speeds up and I feel the butterflies that I love so much like always. His always had this effect on me.

Ever sense I first saw him on that bus. Or when I found out we had a class together in high school. The fact that we ended up going to the same college was fate and I couldn't wait to see what it held in store for us; but if I had known I would die while giving birth to our baby......

Would I do it again?

Yes.

In a heartbeat I would do it again. Jason is my world. The only man I could ever see myself having a future with.

Our daughter, our little creation I don't regret her. Never, ever would I regret her. She is a piece of Jason and me in one little body; she is a piece of me that will never leave him and is with him physically. He can see her always, touch her and  be comforted by her as he gives her comfort in return. I reach out and touch Jason's cheek again as he softly snores, his tears dried to his face. My body becomes more transparent and I blink away more tears.

"I promise that I'll look over you my love. That I'll watch over our baby girl. You will never fully be alone." I hurry and kiss his lips as I am pulled back into the darkness.

No matter what happens I'm going to make sure that my little family is safe and happy. Slowly the darkness becomes a never ending sunrise and I find myself staring into it waiting for when Jason needs me or I feel him get lonely. Maddie talks to me everyday, praying that daddy will be ok and that he can be happy. She is such a sweet girl; I am so proud to be able to call her my daughter. I love her to pieces.

I'm so proud of Jason for not giving up on life. He choose to be strong for our daughter and show her that things will be ok. Which they will be. Things may not be good or great right now. But one day with will be and in the mean time everything is going to be ok.