Masked Purpose

Chapter Four

I needed to clear my head.

The trivial load of mental complications I retained weighed twice the amount it should have. It rested on my shoulders and continued to drag me down with every passing second. Having never experienced this kind of distress before created another hill for me to climb. It was too much to handle.

But I'd never admit that to anybody, not even Stella.

Regardless of my silence, she ultimately suspected something was off and suggested I go out and get some fresh air.

"The last time I went out to get some 'fresh air', I stopped breathing any."

She rolled her eyes. "That was a one time thing, Kaia. Even though you won't tell me, I know there's something disturbing you and I want to help." Her next words lingered on her tongue as she contemplated communicating them. "Maybe...you should go visit your family."

My confounded expression wasn't a surprise to her. "Stel, you know how I feel about them so why the hell would you suggest that?"

"I'm not suggesting you see you're entire family. I understand the position you have with your parents, but when was the last time you've seen Jayden?"

At this point, my interest in the conversation vanished completely. Over the years, I've verbally voiced my negative opinion on my so called 'family' to Stella, making it clear that the closure she kept recommending wasn't necessary. The only person I ever considered to be a true relative was Jayden.

Her using him against me provokingly succeeded.

I left twenty minutes later.

Jayden resided on the other side of town with a roommate in a house separate from my parents. Our domestic dysfunction prompted his early leave along with his eager desire to delve into adulthood.

I never questioned his decision.

By the appearance of his home, I assumed he was doing quite well. The landscape was as nice as it could be during these harsh winter times and there wasn't a heap of garbage waiting to be picked up outside like I had expected. Responsibility seemed to have shaped him for the better, something I was extremely grateful for.

My trudge up to the front door was slow and deliberate in order to determine if this was really what I wanted to do. Nerves weren't present and neither was fear, but my anticipation of his reaction to my unannounced presence continued to build with every step. Nothing bothered me more than the unknown, especially when it involved my brother. To some degree, I hoped he wouldn't answer the door and cease the ongoing gears that kept turning in my head.

My small wish failed to uphold.

Jayden approached the door shortly after my knock with a warm-hearted smile.

"Kaia! What are you doing here?"

"I just came to see how you were doing." A flash of confusion brushed over his features before returning to normal.

"I highly doubt you 'just came to see how I was doing'. What you want?" He mocked my words in such a way that only a brother would do.

"Move, boy." I shoved past him entering the house, leaving the previous expectancies outside.

Words couldn't describe the foreign feeling I felt crossing the threshold. Physically, I'd stepped into a relative's dwelling. Mentally and emotionally, I'd broken into a new indirect barrier of unhealed wounds that needed to be addressed immediately.

No matter how much I tried to refrain from it.

Our conversation carried on in the kitchen following my acceptance of his refreshments. "Have you heard from them at all?"

Jayden wore a look of displeasure at my tone and choice of words. "Yes, I have."

"Have they mentioned me? Ever?" My curiosities failed to retreat back to my inner thoughts and interrupted the lightened mood.

"No, I don't think-"

"How's school going?" The urge to switch topics suddenly overwhelmed me. My posture shifted uncomfortably as a result.

"Kaia-"

"How is school going?" I changed my tone to one that emphasized the seriousness of my endeavor and allowed for no objection.

Jayden's frustration was clear in his answer. "Fine."

I anticipated a period of awkward silence afterwards, but not the amount of unwanted tension that fabricated. It resembled that of which two complete strangers would experience, not close siblings. This lasted multiple minutes longer than need be, regardless of any attempts made to change that on my behalf.

Jayden seemed to take notice and triggered the reversal.

"Do you think we'll have computer generated food in the future?"

I produced a chuckle out of amusement. "I'm not sure. It's a bit of a stretch, but it's quite possible it could happen." My brief pause was strategic, as I intended to travel further into the subject. "Why do you ask?"

A simple shrug ensued. "I don't know. It's just a random thought I just had. I guess I'm secretly hoping someone will hear me and make it real."

His bizarre statement brushed past my heedful hearing initially, but soon immersed deep into my memory. My skeptical machine activated after the realization. "What are you talking about?"

"I overheard some guy at school saying that the committee began listening to people recently."

"And you believe that?" Striving to hide my insecurities at this point was useless. Every emotion I felt prominently displayed itself on my countenance; disbelief and disgust being the most obvious.

"To be honest, I don't know. Do you?"

I've been asked difficult questions in my life before, yet none of them compared to Jayden's straightforward inquiry. It challenged every opinion or remark I've made regarding the committee, both positive and negative. My own personal views on our system weren't always appropriate for verbalizing, as they often tended to contradict my brother's.

And the last thing I wanted to do was influence Jayden.

I chose to lie.

"No."