Light In The Dark [A Kylo Ren Fanfiction]

16.

The guilt of taking another human life has been eating me alive for the past week. All I can think about is the look on that mans face as I took him down. I've been trying to hang out with Kasey more in an attempt to take my mind off of it, but it's no use. She's killed people before, and she told me that it takes a few weeks to forgive yourself for it.

Kylo hasn't been of much help to me either. His time has been tied up with trying to get information out of the girl he took captive. He's been withdrawn and easily irritated, and hasn't slept in a few days. I know that she's somehow tied to his father, and that's what's made him so restless. His parents are a touchy subject for him. It also hasn't helped that my training is being put off until the wound in my shoulder heals, so I don't even have that as a distraction.

I've spent all of today alone in my room with nothing to keep me entertained but a small bag of marbles I found in the training center. I've been rolling them across the floor, trying to get them into a little cardboard box a few feet away. It might just be the least entertaining thing ever.

There's a knock at my door, and I sigh upon hearing it. "Come in," I mumble, rolling another marble into the box. Kylo steps into my room, and he smiles weakly upon seeing me. "How're you holding up?" He asks. I shrug. "Fine." He sits down on the floor next to me and watches as I roll a marble across the floor. "I'm sorry for denying you the attention you've needed," he says, taking a marble out of the bag and doing the same thing. "It's okay. You've been busy." He looks over at me, and we make eye contact for a long time. "Let me make it up to you," he says softly. I'm about to ask how when his lips slam against mine.

His kisses are hungry and relentless, and I crave them like a drug. All I want to feel is his body pressed up against mine. He quickly stands up, bringing me with him, and he lays me down on my little twin mattress. "Let me into your mind," he whispers, pressing a series of open mouthed kisses to my neck. I open my mind up completely, and I can feel his presence inside of me. I can't help but moan as he nips at my earlobe, and I can feel his smile on my neck. 'I think you're enjoying this too much,' he says. I roll my eyes.

His fingers play with the hem of my tee shirt, and I feel a great deal of anxiety knowing that he wants to take it off. He must be able to sense this, because he stops. "The main point of being inside your head is to know what you are and aren't comfortable with," Kylo whispers, pressing a romantic kiss to my cheek. "Maybe we should take a little break from that for a bit," he says, laying down on his side and pulling me into his arms. "I'm sorry," I say softly. He shakes his head. "Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready."

He plays with my hair for a little bit, and I'm so relaxed I'm afraid I might fall asleep at any moment. "How's everything going with the girl?" I ask. Kylo groans. "She won't budge. I haven't been able to get the slightest bit of information out of her." I trace patterns on his back to calm him down, and he sighs. "Do you think you can try talking to her? She might trust you since you're a girl." I nod. I'd do anything if it gave Kylo a little peace of mind. He deserves it after all he's been through lately.

"Do you still feel guilty for killing that man?" Kylo asks. I sigh. "Just a little bit." He tilts his chin so he can look into my eyes, and I smile. "Try thinking about it this way; if you didn't fight back, he would've killed you, and if he killed you, I'd more than likely kill myself. By killing him, you saved my life," Kylo says. I raise an eyebrow at him and he smiles crookedly. "You'd kill yourself if I died?" I ask. He nods. "Most definitely. I couldn't live without you."

He runs a hand through my hair and I bite my lip. "I didn't know I meant so much to you." Kylo nods and kisses me tenderly, sending shivers down my spine. "Every single planet and solar system and Galaxy in this entire universe doesn't even compare to the huge, vast feelings I have for you." I'm at a loss of words, but I don't have to say anything once Kylo's soft, warm lips close in on mine.

"Want to go see the girl now?" I ask. Kylo nods and stands up before helping me to my feet. We saunter off down the halls, not at all in any hurry, and we soon arrive at the torture chamber the girl is being held in. She's strapped into some kind of strange device, and her head is bowed. "Hey!" Kylo yells. His voice is hard and stern, and her head snaps up to look at us. "See if you can talk some sense into her," he hisses, exiting the room and leaving us alone.

She looks familiar, but I can't remember where I've seen her. I feel like I could've known her at one point in my life. "Violet?" She whispers, at the sound of her voice, all of my memories come flooding back to me.

"Rey."