detachment ✔

27

I've never felt such a deep and crazy desire for someone, the way Dylan's eyes pierced into mine before he grabbed me by my hips and carried me to Felix's bed felt so right, like it was meant to happen. And I can't deny anymore that I love him, because I do. No matter how badly he fucked up, what I feel for him will never change. I guess that's as sappy as it gets. I used to always be critical of romance movies, where the girl would say she wouldn't be able to live without the guy. Back then when I was going through the Josh thing, I'd laugh at those cheesy lines and throw away those movies that the average girl worships. I used to think love was a bunch of bullshit, that relationships were either lustful or platonic.

I always thought my relationship with Josh was just lustful, even if I did love him at a certain point. But I always knew everything revolved around sex, and now I realise how wrong that was. But I swear I've never felt so much want towards a person while having sex until now. Dylan is lying asleep beside me on Felix's bed, naked but under the covers, his lips parted in a light snore. His brown hair is messy from the ruffling and pulling while hickies cover both my neck and his, the patches seeming like passionate stains from our love.

I stroke his hair, pushing back a few strands from his face. Dylan inhales sleepily, his eyes slowly opening before meeting my gaze. A smirk forms on my face, wrapping a leg around him from under the covers. He cups my cheek and I grin, giggling before pressing my burning lips against his. He moans, his hands travelling up my bare back, sending shivers down my spine. I bite my lip, his hands cold on my back.

"I love you so much." he whispers, the pad of his thumb brushing against my lips. I giggle, nuzzling into his chest as our bodies are pressed together.

"I love you, too." I say, kissing his torso. His hand runs up and down my back, his fingers tracing little circles on my skin.

"Thank you." he whispers, kissing the top of my head.

"For what?" I ask, confused. Is he saying thank you for the sex, or?

"Making me realise that I needed a change. That I had to break away from her."

"I didn't know I made you think that."

"You did. I'm free now." he says, his heart thumping loudly in his chest, which is right next to my ear.

"Tyler says she's going to be okay."

"I want to believe that." he says.

"You will." I say, running a hand up his waist. He hisses, his grip tightening on my back. His caramel eyes meet mine, nothing but desire and love in them.

"I love you more than anyone in this world, Tessa."

"I love you more than anyone, too." I say, wrapping both of my legs around him so that I'm straddling him. Dylan smirks, his lips crashing with mine as our hands begin exploring each other's bodies once again.

***

Distance can weaken relationships, or even worse, break them. That's how I feel with Felix, because it's been a week since he came home. I tried calling him, but whenever I do, he always says he's fine and hangs up after exchanging a couple of words. Dylan has noticed how much this is upsetting me, even if I'm not bothering Felix by staying in his flat anymore. Dylan found a small place we could stay, still in Downtown Eastside since I refuse to go elsewhere, and we've been staying there for a week.

I've met up with Tyler again; who says Ashley is better and is staying at her friend's house until she's ready to move back to New York. I still feel disgustingly guilty about being the cause of her divorce with Dylan. But what's done is done, and there's nothing we can do about it. I wish Dylan never got me into that mess, but I know that he needs me as much as I need him.