Prologue: Kate

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"You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one."

– James A. Froude

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"Kate wake up! Wake up lazy head," stood there was my annoying little sister, Sophie.

 Sophie is like my little timer in the house. She always wakes me up in the morning no matter how many times I comp[lain to her I have a timer.  Sophie is an early-birdy.   Here is how Sophie work, she will wake mom up at four o'clock to walk her to the bus. Meanwhile, Sophie bus comes at 6:40 in the morning. Today is the weekend and Sophie is still waking me up early. Even on the weekend , Sophie can't  seem to chill. Now, the thing that really annoys me is that Sophie will rather wake me up at 8:00am  knowing that I go to work at 11:30am.  

 "What do you want, Sophie,'' I asked. 

"Mom wants me to wake you up or you will be late for work," I  knew she was lying because mom knew what time I go to work. 

"Sophie, didn't I tell you to wake me up at 10:30, you know it is important for me to get all my sleep," I whispered sleepily.

"Yes, but I don't want you to be late. I don't want you to get fired," said Sophie in a sad tone.

Soon as those words came out her mouth, I came out of my conscious sleepily mind and the world biggest  realization hit me: Sophie is going to lose her childhood because  of me. I walk to her. I didn't want my little sister to ever know what was going on in our life's. She is still a kid, she is not suppose to worry about me getting fired. I don't want her to live her childhood worrying like me. I  don't want her  to look back and see a little girl with just sad memories. I was barely happy  as a kid. Around Sophie age, all  my thoughts were  "is dad going to be alright" "how can mom pay the bill when she is in school" .  Well let just say my elementary school years and middle school years were the saddest years of my life ever and I am still trying to fix that broken part of me.  

"Sophie, look at me. Please, don't you ever worry about my job issues. I was never going to get fired.  If you heard us last week,  mom and I were talking about a man at her nursing school  that was going to get fired. Please promise me not to take it personal. Don't you ever worry about such stuff like that in your life ok. Always remember that mom and I are here for. We will always be here. Don't you ever worry about nothing?  Please don't tell me this is why you have been waking everyone up early. Sophie please have fun and enjoy all your little memories. Ok. Don't you want to look back at little Sophie in ten years and see all sparkles and princess. I want you to have the best childhood. Please promise me to not worry about anything. I love you so much sister," I was out of breath as I lied to my little sister to maker her feel better.

 This was  all my fault. I should have closed that door last week when  mom was talking to me about  the suspension warning  I received from work.

"I am sorry Kate. Mom was very stress out last week and this week.  Then all of a sudden you were sad too. I didn't know what was going on. Last week, I was in my room when I heard you and mom talking about someone's going to get fired from work. Mom also said something about waking up early so I just started taking my early calls on you guys. I am so sorry Kate. That was stupid of me to start stressing myself up over nothing when especially  you guys were talking about someone else this whole time. I am so sorry," Sophie was crying as she said those words. I wanted to cry with her but that was something I will save for my heart.

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So after the whole incident with Sophie, I am now going to watch what I say around her. I don't want her to blame  me for her childhood when she is around my age. I always blame mom for not keeping things away from me as a kid or  I wouldn't have  went through all the shitty childhood memories. God knows how my childhood would have turn out if my mom at least tried to explain things to me like I did with Sophie. But she learn from her mistakes and  I have to learn from mine as well: which was to make the best out of everything instead of worrying. As people, we learn from our mistakes and we correct it to better ourselves.  But Sophie is young and I will never let her learn my mistakes.

It was 11:00 am when I got ready to leave the house. I work at an organization called    "The Homework Helpers"  aka what everyone call "The Homework Helpline".  The Homework Helpers is a  large metropolitan company located in Manhattan where students who accelerate in certain subjects are hired to help other students who have troubling in that subject area. My best friend Ashley ,whose mom is  Nicole, convinced my mom to register me. It took a while before I was fully convinced to apply. Although I was hesitant at first,  I will never regret this job. I adore the interior design of HH, the corridors on each floor have paintings of whatever subject was on that hall.  The people were nice but the managers can suck my ass.  I was paid good enough.   There is about 8-10 floors. I am not exactly sure with the exact number of floors .  I am on the fourth floor and I tutor my three  favorite subjects:  math, science and history.  Ashley is on the third floor. I barely see her because we are always busy helping people on the phone or in person.   The first floor is where the library and majority of the bosses can be found.  Some students even take classes on  the third floors. Teachers volunteered on HH but they are not paid as much as the students. The organization goal is to hired as many young adults and high schoolers as possible.

   "Good morning, Mrs. Julian," I greeted the front desk lady as I headed to sign in on the computers. After that, I approach the coffee stand and made myself a Cappuccino Coffee. I began to walk up to the elevators.

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