That Boy Is My Monster

The Plan Was Not Planned

I froze, "what?"

"Does this bitch understand English?" Stu looked at Billy. His eyes then moved to me. "WE ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEBODY," he repeated slowly but loudly, staring at me with huge eyes. He spoke to me like I was a child. If anyone had seen this guy, they'd just laugh at him, it's honestly too hard to take him seriously.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can," Billy said.

"No, I won't. I just won't." I could feel terror and distress all through my body. I was shaking uncontrollably.

Billy stared at me long and hard, "you've seen enough movies, Ashley. You know what you're doing. We don't even need to teach you. I know you can do this." His voice was wispy and deep, just as usual. Whenever he spoke to me, his tone was always a little creepier and slower than when he spoke to anyone else.

I had no words. As long as it came out of his mouth, it seemed fine. If this guy told me to jump off a bridge, I'd probably do it. He had this tone and this expression that made you afraid of him. But in being so horrified of him, I felt so secure when he was on my side. I could do this and only because Billy had said I could.

We drove for a little over 20 minutes. It was silent, none of us spoke. I wasn't speaking because I was so terror-stricken but I'm sure Billy and Stu weren't speaking because they had so much adrenaline running through their bodies. We finally stopped at the front of a small house. It was separated from those around it, which I understood to be part of their plan. It was white, with large bay windows all across the front. I was thankful I didn't recognize the house. I wouldn't be able to go through with it if we were killing someone I knew. Before getting out of the car, the boys covered themselves in black outfits. Stu handed me a black hooded shirt and sweat pants. I placed them on slowly. Billy was watching me the entire time. That wicked smile swept across his face was enough to make any girl lose their mind. I tried slipping the sweatshirt over me but it was so oversized that it covered my face completely, much like Billy and Stu's. I could barely see out if it. Maybe that was just the point of it.

Billy handed me a knife. I held it for a while before I slid it in my pockets. I was actually holding a knife. I'd seen this being done in the movies, but I'd never known the satisfaction it would give me. This must be how Norman Bates felt. The rush was so defective yet painfully good.

I reached the house with both Billy and Stu behind me. All the lights were off, was this person asleep? Were we just going to wake them up and kill them? The front door to the house was left unlocked. That's not usual at all. I mean, I know in movies, we don't usually find out how the killer gets in the house but I know for damn sure people don't just leave their houses unlocked. Something wasn't right. Was this a trap? Were Billy and Stu going to kill me? They wouldn't, would they? I tried to move behind them, so instead it wasn't me guiding. I was petrified. I wanted to go home. What had I gotten myself into? Why did I trust Billy? He was just going to kill me anyway. I knew too much.

I followed them slowly into the house. It's not like I could see their facial expressions, 2 dark figures walking before me and I guessed I needed to follow. It was hard to tell in the dark, but the house looked empty. I wasn't banging into walls or walking into couches, it was just bare. I started to shake even more. I was definitely going to be killed tonight and I fell for it too. There needed to be an escape somewhere. I need to get out of here. The less Billy spoke to me, the less obliged I felt to be here.

We continued walking through the house. Everything started to get blurry in my mind. There was no plan. Usually when you plan to gut the fuck out of someone you have a plan. Neither Billy nor Stu told me anything; I was just given a knife by Billy. What was I meant to do with it? What was happening?