Self Help by Miranda Sings

My Panties Are Dirty

I woke up and my mom came into my room and was yelling at me and then I grabbed a knife and yelled get out!!!!!! My panties were wet whyyy? It felt like pooppy chunks were inside but I wet myself in a dream i think? I was dreaming about Joey or one of my baes. I didn't want to get out of bed so i just stayed in bed and Facetime Joey and told him about my wet panties and wanted to see if the cause was him at all. I called him and he said no no no no no no MIRANDA it wasn't me. Then he said it could have been Joshua but he is married to COLLEEN EVANS. So he's a sinner if he is and I'll be praying for him he drinks to so yeah he is such a FREAKING sinner. My birthday is on Christmas eve so basically I'm perfect because I'm technically related to baby Jesus so YEAH. I have a show with Joshau but I'm not sure if I should go because he might be cheating on COLLEEN and that's kinda awkward to be there if he is. So yeah but I think I'm going but my panties are wet, they all are wet but I don't have to wear any.