Forget me not

Coming Home

It felt weird, standing outside my own house. It was different. Or maybe I was different. I wasn't sure if I was ready to go in. But then again, would I ever be ready? Walking through that door was like the point of no return. I could still go back now if I wanted to, but telling my parents sealed the deal. I liked to think I had a choice, that I could still turn back, but I had made my choice.

Taking a deep breath, I pressed the door bell. A few seconds later the door swung open to reveal my mom. Her eyes immediately found me, my suitcases, my pathetic fake smile. Her eyes widened slightly, her hand still clutching the door. Part of me thought she would slam it back closed again.

"Mom?" I spoke after seconds of silence.

She snapped back and stepped forward to hug me. A huge wave of relief swept over me and I hugged her back. We clung onto each other for a while, it had been four years. She released me from her embrace and took a step back again, examining me.

"Emily? What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming! You should have called. Aren't you supposed to be in New York for another whole year?" She questioned, trying to understand.

I bit the inside of my cheek. "It's quite a long story. Can I come in?"

"Of course, you must be exhausted from the trip!"

"Thanks."

She grabbed one of my suitcases for me and I carried the other inside.
Nothing much had changed that I could remember.

"Michael." My mom called out my dads name.

He emerged from the study and spotted me standing sheepishly by the living room.

"Emily? Why didn't you tell me she was coming?" He asked my mom.

"Because I didn't know!"

"What's going on honey? I thought your scholarship lasted another year?"

"That's what I said." My mom agreed.

"I'll explain, but I'm dying for a cup of tea."

"Course, honey." My dad said putting on the kettle

They sat me down and made small talk with me until the tea was really.

Dad handed me the cup and I quietly thanked him, taking a heavenly sip. They sat down across from me with concerned looks. I sighed, knowing it was inevitable explaining.

"I'll do my best to explain, but I'm not sure if you'll ever really understand my decision. The medical profession, it wasn't for me. It took me a while to learn that because I would always focus on the success I knew it would bring me, with my results and all but really all along I knew that I was never going to really be happy there. Content, yes. But truly happy? No, and that's what I strive for. Trust me when I say this wasn't a decision I just made in a day. I had to leave my friends behind, my apartment behind, my future behind. I did some travelling around America for a while but I just don't know what I want to do anymore." I wiped my arm across my nose, blinking back then tears. "I'm just really lost right now and I think being back here, where my roots are, I think that'll help me. And I need you guys around right now, while I figure this whole thing out. I just want to be happy."

They remained silent for a while, digesting what I just told them. My mom gave me a soft smile. "Of course honey, we understand."

"But Emily, this was your whole future!" My dad burst out. "Your life! How could you just leave it behind?! You were so talented and intelligent. You got a scholarship to one of the best universities in America!" He yelled violently, standing up. "How could you just leave that behind?"

My mom put her hand on his arm. "Sit down Michael. You heard her, this isn't something she decided overnight. We need to be supportive of her."

I sniffed and looked down. "It's fine mom, he's right. I shouldn't of left it all behind, thrown it all away. But I couldn't live like that. I was never going to be happy. You want me to be happy, don't you?"

"Of course! And you would have been happy!" My dad continued. "You had a solid future Emily! Friends, wealth, success, you would have met a nice guy, had a beautiful family—"

"Michael!" My mum cut in. "Stop, you're going to far. Maybe what you're saying is true, but it doesn't matter. She's only 23, it's not too late to change what she's studying. Not by a long shot. If Emily wasn't going to be happy, then she did the right thing and it's our responsibility to help her get back on track again! We're her parents!"

He sat down again, putting his head in his hands, then stood up again and walked back into the study, shutting the door behind him.

My mum sighed. "He'll come around honey. You did the right thing and I want you to know I support you."

"Thanks mom. That means a lot."

"I'll give you some time." She stood up and went into the study, no doubt to confront my dad.

I finished my tea then placed it by the sink and carried my suitcases up the stairs to my room. Again, nothing had changed. Everything was in place. My single bed on the far left corner, my built in wardrobe on the wall to my left to it and my desk against the right wall. Too tired to change, I climbed into bed and snuggled into the warm, soft, velvet covers I've have since I was a little girl. I was glad I had at least a small source of comfort in the huge mess I was in.

Putting those stressful thoughts out of my mind, I let my exhausted body sink into the bed and give my mind a rest, preparing for the days ahead.

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Hola! It's Mills (but you already knew that)

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Don't forget that you're beautiful. Have an amazing day.