Death Alchemy (Full Metal Alchemist Fanfic)

I blow up a futuristic toaster

So yea now your caught up on the whole dying and back to life thing. Ok I'm sure your all wondering about how I blew up a toaster cause yea I'm not up to date on all future appliances. So it had a fingerprint scanner on the side of it. Apparently I wasn't supposed to hold my finger on it for more than 5 seconds, but I held it on there for 40 seconds because I was waiting for a ding or something. I then ended up on the lawn after being blasted out the window, I sat up and looked around in confusion. I almost passed out when I looked toward the street and saw that the cars that were on it, weren't touching the ground whatsoever. The cars were literally flying, "what the heck" I yelled out loud. "Son are you ok?" An old man who was approaching me asked. I replied "Yea just headache." The old man responded helping me up "Ok I'd go take some medicine that was a pretty big blast." I answered shaking his hand "Thanks friend." He went back into his house and I climbed back through the window. "I need a mop" I said thinking out loud. As I said this the house responded and brought me a mop with a bucket, it scared the crap out of me. "Thank you house" I said. After I cleaned the kitchen I walked into the living room and I scanned the room for anything out of place to tell me what this guy does for a living, that's when I saw it. There was a secret hand print scanner under the coffee table, I placed my hand on it and all the lights went out in the house and all the blinds shut. Then the couch slid out and there was a staircase descending below it. I started down the stairs and walked for what seemed like ages, when I reached the bottom I looked around the room. You wouldn't believe me if I told you some of the things I saw down there, he had everything. Guns, bullets, armor, grenades, hacking equipment, spying equipment. On the wall was some of the strangest knives I've ever seen, they had all kind of attachments. Next to those knives was a full black suit of skin tight armor, this man, was a black ops agent. (Ok 1 second first of all I know I know how lucky am I that I get the body of a Black Ops agent, but let me tell you this actually was not an accident. I kind of meant for this to happen, I saw that he was wearing a black ops suit when he died and I picked him, which actually is the reason I was scanning his living room. Anyway back to the story) Just then my cell phone rang(or should I say this guys cell phone rang) and on the phone was some deep dark voice asking if I accepted the mission I received through the email. I told him I did and he hung up, (being honest with you right now, I have no clue what that guy was talking about so I just started searching his computer) and I finally found the email after searching and I regret saying yes immediately. It said I had to meet at the airplane yard in 1 hour with any weaponry I needed for the job. So I suited up and grabbed a revolver pistol which I believe was called a 45? (I honestly have no knowledge of guns) Then I got in the car (which I had no clue how to drive because it wasn't even touching the ground) and I somehow got to the airplane yard without killing anyone or myself. "Sergeant Alpha sir" one of the men dressed in black said in attention as I approached the group. I responded "At ease men." We said nothing else the whole trip. We landed in the Capital and I was surprised to find that it was destroyed completely. I thought to myself that I need to go back home after this is over and research it. "Sir" the man I guessed was Charlie said. "Yes Charlie" I responded. He answered "The sorcerer known as the Crimson Sorcerer is up ahead." I stopped and remembered something that the Lord of Death called me when I first met him. I shook it off, it couldn't be connected. We came upon a giant red building that didn't look too destroyed, but in front of it were soldiers dressed in rags with guns that looked like they were from my own time. Charlie and Bravo took them down without even blinking, which kind of shocked me a little. We approached the building and lined up against the wall, Charlie busted down the door and after that all I saw was flashes of light and then I walked through the door and everyone was dead. Standing on top of the balcony was someone I knew all too well, it was Kimbley or better known as the Crimson Alchemist. I dove out the door just as all of my men exploded into pools of blood. I ripped off my mask and raised my hands and got on my knees. "Kimbley it's me. It's Tony Stonehill the Afterlife alchemist" I said quickly before Kimbley could react and kill me to. "Tony" he asked "how can this be you disappeared 20 years ago and no one knew where you went." I responded "I tried to bring someone back from the dead and instead opened a gateway to the land of death where I met the Lord of the Underworld." Kimbley pondered this for a second "what was my code name that only a state alchemist would know?" I responded "you Kimbley were the Crimson Alchemist." Kimbley responded "Tony how have you been, get off your knees and come up here. I believe someone needs to catch you up on some stuff."