PAIN // Ayakane Fanfiction

Chapter 4 // Morning

Re-written

Ayato woke up with a bad mood. He looked over at his clock. It read 5:23 am. He groaned loudly and sat up from his bed.

I need some coffee.

He slowly walked out of his room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The hallway was lit up with morning light and so was the coffee shop, but Ayato noticed that Kaneki was awake too. He sat in the corner of the shop at a small table. He had a coffee in front of him and his chin was resting in his hand.

He was facing away from Ayato, no shirt and fresh bandages. There was a small, warm ray of light shining on his pale body. In the light, Ayato could see that his bruises and cuts had healed.

Kaneki must've heard him walk in since he started speaking.

"Morning. I'm sorry about yesterday - I'm never in full control."

His tone was blank and he didn't look back at Ayato. Kaneki stared down at his coffee cup.

"Uh- ya'... it's fine Kaneki."

Ayato could hear the awkwardness in his own voice.

"I don't blame you," he looked out the window, "It seems like everyone sees me as just a filthy halfbreed."

He sounded so mellow but his expression seemed sad and sunken. Ayato cleared his throat.

"Where's Touka?"

He asked, just trying to change the subject.

"Asleep. She said some pretty nasty things about you yesterday."

"I'm sure she did." Ayato said with a grunt. Kaneki pointed to the coffee bar where the coffee brewer stood.

"I made some coffee. Feel free to take some."

He offered to Ayato.

"Uh- yeah, thanks."

Ayato walked to the brewer and filled a new mug with the last of the coffee. He turned to go back to his room, but was stopped short.

"Wait-"

He heard Kaneki say. He turned back around to look at Kaneki, who still had his back turned to him.

"Yeah?"

Ayato asked with his coffee still in hand.

"Can you bring me my eyepatch?"

He asked kindly. His voice was small and a little shaky. Ayato placed his coffee down and walked to the chair where his eyepatch laid from yesterday. It was still dirty and a little torn. He picked it up and analyzed it.

"Are you sure you wanna wear it? It's still dirty."

Ayato asked him quietly. He could see Kaneki nod.

"I hate thinking about having two different eyes."

He said curtly. Ayato walked to him and placed the eyepatch in front of Kaneki.

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

He hadn't looked at Ayato at all. He just focused his attention on his cup of coffee. It looked cold and it seems like he hadn't even taken a sip yet.

Ayato sighed to himself and grabbed a chair at the table. He sat across from him and got a better look at Kaneki's face.

He looked tired, really tired.

"Look Kaneki. It was a stupid thing to do. I'm sorry."

Ayato explained quickly and nervously. Why was he so nervous around him?

"Don't apologize. I'm half person, it's a good resort for when you're starving."

Ayato looked closely at Kaneki and noticed his eyes were puffy, as if he'd been crying before Ayato woke up.

"It just hurts. I had friends, never had to worry about my safety, until that day."

Ayato stared at him, mouth slightly open.

"I thought I'd be okay as a ghoul, but you are looked down upon for being half, maybe it would have been better if I had died that day with Rize, if you had killed me yesterday."

Ayato noticed small tears trail down Kaneki's cheeks, but his face was still somewhat expressionless. The tears slowly rolled down his chin and into his coffee. The tears melted away into the mug.

Ayato didn't know what to say in a situation like this. He stared at Kaneki.

Is this my fault? Was he always this sad?

Kaneki pushed his head down so his silky hair covered his eyes, but the tears still rolled down his cheeks.

Ayato opened his mouth to say something, but the only thing that came out was a small crack of his voice. Kaneki slowly looked up, a wide smile on his face. It made the hairs on Ayato's neck stand up.

The smile was genuine, and somewhat cute. But the combination of the tears and the smile just made him uneasy.

Kaneki looked back down at his coffee, the smile fading.

"Kaneki- you-you're not..."

He said sympathetically, but he still didn't have any words. Kaneki shook his head, the tears were now making small read streaks on his gentle pale skin.

I can't handle this much longer.

If he didn't have the words, then he decided he'd take action. Ayato quickly stood up from his chair and hovered over Kaneki.

Kaneki looked up for a moment, confused. Ayato glanced at Kaneki's hand resting on the table and he slowly extended his arm toward it. He grabbed Kaneki's hand gently and hoisted him to his feet. Ayato let go of his hand once he was on his feet.

Kaneki stared at him with a surprised look.

Here goes nothing.

Ayato slowly wrapped his arms around Kaneki's neck and rested his head into Kaneki's unwounded shoulder. Kaneki didn't react at first, but after a few seconds, his arms slowly wrapped around Ayato's waist. He nuzzled his head into the crook of Ayato's neck, his tears burning his neck slightly. Kaneki's bare skin was warm, and it made him blush.

Ayato's face was completely red. He was embarrassed at what he was doing, but at the same time, he didn't mind it. It felt nice, strangely nice. It broke his heart to see somebody so broken. Somebody who seemed collected. But deep inside, he wasn't okay.

They both pulled away slowly after a minute and gave each other weak smiles.

"I'm going to go get some more sleep."

Kaneki said softly and started walking back into his room. Ayato watched as he left, a little sad.