A Trap Within A Trap

Chapter 4

Omari had been up for a while. It was nine in the morning. She'd done all the soccer mom stylo. Made breakfast, took the kids to school, even did little paper bag lunches for them. Better than the sorry PB&J she ate for lunch, and dinner five outta seven days a week since her mama worked sixty hour weeks at Brookdale hospital leaving her too feed, bath, and rear her siblings. 'Yeah, she was a nurse, and a crack head some crazy shit right? But she didn't get her shit off the street. Why pay for weak illegal shit when you can get good legal shit for the free.' she thought to herself as she stepped back in the house throwing her keys on the coffee table, then collapsing onto the couch. The look on Fish's face, and the way he walked back to his truck and drove off worried her. '... and that was Saturday. It's Monday and he still didn't call or even text once.' she thought uncomfortably messaging her temples to relax.

'I'm not sweatin dat psycho. I'm Just hopin he AIN'T gonna do nuthin stupid'. She partly lied to herself. She wanted her cake, and to eat it too. She did want him to continue wanting her, but it was too dangerous for her family, not to mention her life.

"Come on Mari ..." Fish said with his boyish grin showing off his gold grill. Brooklyn's sky line over dinner at Pier 14's promenade. She had put on a playful face of consideration of Fish's proposal. Truth was she'd expected this months ago, which was the last time she slipped him the pussy. Men, even the smartest of them never notice when they're being led around by their dicks.

A talent she learned to use on her mama's nasty boyfriends. She did what she had to when she needed money, or food for her little brothers. Pamela was always too busy smoking or shooting up to buy groceries. 'My mama was a crack head. Guess like mama like daughter.' This somber train of thought had ended in a train wreck. Now that she had numbed the pain she will carry till the day she died she allowed her tormented soul to pick a fight with her dead mother.

Whenever she felt like this, self hatred, and hating her mother even more, she could feel the hate burning her from within, eating her alive, she felt she was in hell, a stranger sense was that she knew her mother was right along with her. Hell has no better prison than a mind consumed in hatred and regret. Omari would never have had the nerve when her mother was alive, and she was after all only twelve when her mother died. 'Nah fuck dat! I'm better than you HO! I'm smarter than you. Ya, dumb BITCH! I'm fuckin wit two smart nigga's who always keep cheddar, and my kids ain't gonna want for nuthin!'

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Fish recognized the long silence from as he looked into Omari's eyes. He figured for the first time she just might consider turning him down, 'Shit this whole thing could be a fuckin setup!' He thought. Yet he just turned up the charm like he used too, in order to get the new Atari game that came out from his mama. "Omari, boo, I know you loved Jah aight, and I feel like shit doin all this to him, but I been in love with you since I first met you. You know he's goin down south soon. Who's gonna take care of you?" An inconsiderate second later he rushed to comment "... and, and the kids? You know they love they uncle fish, and they still little so it shouldn't take long for them to get over their pops since they already know me. Maybe like three months."

Fish didn't know shit about kids, just saw them as a way to get slut momma's pussy. Ever since he was a kid all the fly bitches in his neighborhood had kids. So he learned that he had to show them a bunch of attention. 'Just like I do to white women with their dogs. Just pet'em give'em a few treats, and the mama's melt in your hands since they just lookin for fathers for their little snot nosed brats anyway.' Fish despised Jaquez's kids, mostly because they we're reminders of what should've been his, and also they were two other people he'd have to share Omari with.

"I'm sayin, even if they expedite him from Alabama they gonna have him locked away for years before they even get to trail. Two murders, trafficking, plus attempted murder on a leo?!" Fish feigned sympathy while shaking his head, and whistling for affect.

"Everything worked out for us boo." is what Fish said to her those years ago with tears of happiness in his eyes. That was the last time she had ever seen him so happy. 'Great!' she thought 'Here comes the guilt!' Just as strong, another emotion emerged. One she didn't want to admit too, fear. She opened her eyes and lazily rose from the couch. 'That was the beginning before the end. Me and Fish had almost two years partly undercover, till when we were just about to tell the kids, after putting in for the divorce. I never felt the love I have for Jaquez for Fish, not then and most definitely not now, but whatever it was, it was good. Doing the crack, and Roxie's with Fish helped. Jah is funny about doin the shit he sells. All he does is Kush, and if he found out...' She smiled cocking her head to the side as to say oh well. She pulled the glass dick out and lit. Waiting for the work to melt "Mamma need her medicine."

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