The Lucky Ones

3 - Riverside

‘What makes you so damn sure that you’re worth it, huh?’

“My mother told me to be nice and friendly so I did and now I’m terrified that he may actually of seen that as me opening up, warming up to him. I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of that. Talking briefly over a meal I can do, knowing I don’t actually have to come back and trust and open up my arms welcoming someone into my life. I’m selfish. I’m the kind of selfish that would risk hurting someone else to stop me getting hurt.” I replied. Quinn did her usual thing of noting everything down before looking back up to continue with what it was she was planning on talking about.

“How do you really feel about the situation, with new people with getting to know them, with letting them in.”

“I don’t know. I want to get to know these people, I want to be able to let them in, but I can’t it’s like I’d rather be alone than risk getting hurt. The idea of wounding back up where I am truly terrifies me.”

It was true. I was terrified that if I allowed someone new in that they would end up hurting me. Trust was something I couldn’t give. People counted on trust both ways for friendship, never mind a relationship to work. Not that I had planned on stumbling onto love any time soon. I wasn’t one who was going to.

***

Two day’s had past since my birthday, and all the weather had seemed to do was rain continuously. There were times I liked the rain, often enough it became boring and brought only peoples moods down. I’d never particularly been mood affected by the weather but on certain days it had it’s affects.

Today the sun had finally made it’s appearance once again, allowing pure Garden time after I had finished the hours of home schooling. Often enough I would just sit on the outside couch that was covered by a small sheltered section about it, scrolling through the endless pages of Tumblr, and watching many a you tube video. Of course there were day’s I replaced it with a book, or a fashion magazine.

Today the plan had been to scroll endlessly, reblogging until I grew bored and decided to switch for something inside to do. That was until Sawyer’s head popped up over the fence separating our gardens. “Hey, do you fancy going somewhere?”

“Don’t you have friends?”

“Don’t you?” He asked back, raising his eyebrows as he waited for me to answer, but I just went back to my laptop. “An hour and then I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the day, I promise.” He offered making a small smile making an appearance on his face.

“It‘s still a no either way.” I decided to ignore the question, and jump back to the first.

“Fine, then you will be stuck with me standing here talking to you all evening, or playing music you take a disliking to incredibly loudly until you agree.” He said making a challenging face.

I sighed, but kept scrolling and switching from certain sites back to others, hoping that if I annoyed him he would get the message. I didn’t understand why someone would try so hard to spend time with me.

As I ignored him, he began to talk about the pointless things. “You know the weather is just great, the sun is out the weather is warm and you know what would be great? If you just said yes to a stroll I’m pretty sure this would be a hell of a lot better. Actually cake, cake would be delightful right now.”

“If I go inside will you go?”

“I’d more than likely knock your door a few times, and play old 60’s music obnoxiously loud so that you could hear it.

“Make it half hour of my time.”

“Great, meet me out front.” He smiled, before he disappeared.