For Me This is Heaven (Camren)

Chapter 21

My bones ached in the morning. The sunlight felt too warm on my skin and it was difficult to open my eyes. She was lazily running her fingers through my hair and I wondered how long she had been awake and how long I had been asleep. I couldn't form actual words just yet so I settled for mumbling to let her know I was up. Her hand briefly stopped in its tracks then resumed the motions.

"Camz? You awake?"

My face was buried into her side. I nodded against her. She said nothing for a while and I remained where I was, heavy-limbed and half unconscious. Then she spoke up again causing my eyes to shoot open despite the bright light of the morning sun.

"Do you want to talk about these voicemails you left on my phone last night?"

She sounded calm and indifferent, or at least that's what it sounded like waking up first thing. I wasn't in any place to decipher tone or mood, as I had just arisen from the dead it seemed, stretching and groaning into an endless sea of sheets and Lauren's cotton shirt. And then came the daunting task of actually remembering when the hell I found the time to call my girlfriend the night before.

"Um..." I trailed off, not knowing how to piece my thoughts together into a real sentence. How do I explain myself when I wasn't even sure what I said to her? Did she listen to them yet or did she just see the notification on her phone? How many did I leave? "What?" was the brilliant follow-up I settled for.

"How much did you actually drink last night?"

"Too much, apparently."

"How's your head?"

"It's been better but I'll live. Easier if I don't move...ever," I added pathetically and turned my face back into her side. I heard her laugh quietly in response.

"Maybe take it easy next time, yeah?"

I let out a loud sigh and her hand went back to playing with my hair. I was in the process of allowing my eyes to drift back shut until I remembered why I even drank so much the previous night. She was being awfully affectionate for someone who was yelling at me and getting irrationally mad at me just the other day. I didn't want to spoil her seemingly good mood but even I knew that her attitude could be impeccably deceiving and could change in a split second. I was always on my toes by then.

"Sorry I woke you at such a strange hour last night," I told her. "I know you've been having trouble sleeping at all without me bothering you."

"Since when do you bother me?"

"Don't I?"

"No? Well these voicemails would tell me otherwise. Or at least that's what you seem to be assuming lately. I'm not exactly giving you any reason to believe me though, am I?"

I stared up at her blankly and after a moment or so I furrowed my brows, not knowing what she was even talking about. I could tell she wanted to laugh again.

"...What?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry for being a dick, idiot."

"You weren't a dick," I tried to assure her but she reached over to the other side of her bed and grabbed her phone. And for some reason I felt panicked. Who knows what I might have said? "Wait, Lauren, please don't play those," I said and reached for her phone but she moved her hand away. A moment later I heard my very irritated and very drunk, slurred voice fill the room.

"What the fuck? Since when are you not awake? I called you like fifty times maybe. Wait...are you sleeping? No you're probably just ignoring me. Are you ignoring me? Are you still being a DICK?"