Thunderous || Laxus Dreyar x Reader

Chapter 8: Haunting Pasts

Month Two

Your P.O.V

A month has passed since I took off with Laxus and the Thunder God Tribe to camp out in the mountains. Honestly, it's been the most fun I've had in my entire life. Everyday we train for a couple of hours-although Laxus and I just throw attacks at each other-then we mess around with our magic.

I hate to say it, but I think I have a crush on Laxus. It sounds insane and unbelievable, but it's true. Besides his dashing good-looks, he's strong, funny when we're alone, and all around a nice guy. But I know we can never be together, even if he felt the same way.

I have a mission that I have to stick to and there's still so much I don't know about him. The thing is, I wish there was time for me to learn every little detail of his life. Not in a creepy way, just his habits, most embarrassing memories, and his childhood friends.

Currently, it's around midnight and the moon is raised high right in front of us. The stars take up the majority of the sky and twinkle with the glow of the moon. Laxus and I are sitting on the edge of the cliff where we practice everyday, and we're alone. The other three idiots were with us, but they somehow all had to go do something, leaving the whole world to just Laxus and I.

"What's the strategy for the games?" I ask as we both gaze up at the sky.

"Gramps is entering two teams incase one doesn't make it, but I know we'll both get in," Laxus replies.

I look over at the side of his dazzling face and smile. "You really care about everyone, don't you? You pretend like you don't, but you do."

A grimace plays on his lips and he turns his head toward me and our eyes lock. "I didn't always."

"What do you mean?" I question.

Laxus takes in a deep breath and looks back out at the stars. "Once, I wanted to be master so bad that I made everyone in Fairy Tail battle. All the weaklings would be kicked out for us to be stronger. I was so consumed with hatred and power that I didn't see how much I was hurting my family."

"What happened?" I urge on.

"I got my ass handed to me by Natsu and Gajeel, but before that-" He pauses. "I tried to kill everyone. I planned to rebuild Fairy Tail from scratch. But somewhere deep down at the time, I really cared for them, so the spell didn't work."

I stare at him in shock as sorrow and regret morphs his features. That's what he's been hiding. A few minutes pass before I find my voice.

"But no one got hurt?"

"No, but the damage was done. I was excommunicated, but I heard Gramps call out to me while they were in trouble on Tenrou Island. I tried to save them and I failed," he says.

"The point is that you tried to make up for your sins. I know they've forgiven you, and that's what matters now," I attempt to reassure him.

"I guess, but I still feel guilty. Nothing I ever do will be able to make up for what I've done in the past."

Yeah, I know the feeling.

We sit in silence a while longer, both of us in deep thought on what to do next.

"What about you? Your family, I mean," Laxus inquires.

I cock my head in his direction and he's already staring at me. Tell him, my subconscious demmands. I take in a shaky breath and wipe my already sweaty palms on my pants.

I look away from him, not being able to meet his intense gaze. I've never, ever, told anyone about what happened. Not even Porlyusica.

"I grew up in Sin-a small country in Ishgar-where something happened. Six years ago, Zeref invaded my country. Everyone-" I pause, taking in a shaky breath. "Everyone was killed, except for me. My entire country was made up of devil slayers and my parents were the strongest. They got me to the border between our country and the Pergrande Kingdom, then they went back to fight.

"We weren't prepared and they wouldn't let me help. I was given an order to stay back and I did. I could see the war happening from the boarder, and there was nothing I could do. I knew I would just get in the way. It ended in minutes. Zeref's black magic engulfed the country and all the slayers took their last breaths in that toxic air."

I laugh humorlessly. "An entire country of Devil Slayers taken out by the ultimate devil himself. How pathetic." I blink back tears and continue. "After that, I had nothing, so I decided to get as far away from there as possible. I stowed away on cargo ships over and over until I made it to Fiore.

"I started over and trained every single day to accomplish one mission-" I hesitantly look over to Laxus's horrified face and say, in barely a whisper, "-kill Zeref."

Laxus stares at me as if his whole view of who he thought I was has changed, but I don't regret telling him. He needed to know. This is who I am and this is the reason I'm here.

"That's why there aren't Devil Slayers around anymore?" he asks in a steady voice.

"We were planning to go after this guild full of demons, but a hand full of slayers fled the country, so there are still a few out there," I reply.

"What about your marks?"

I crack a small smile and hold out my arms in front of me, randomly examining them. "It's my inner devil. It's exactly like your dragon scales. One day, our magic will consume us all, and there will be no looking back. The more we use it, the worse it gets." I let my arms fall to my lap and peer back to Laxus.

"What do you mean 'consume us'?" he quirks an eyebrow.

A dark cloud begins to form in my head, but I shake it away. "Sometimes we lose control because of the beasts locked inside of us. One day, we will rattle the cage too hard and our beasts will be set free. When that happens, we either let the beast consume us or... we let ourselves die."

"(Y/N)." His voice is soft and completely foreign to his regular nature. "I wouldn't let that happen. Not to you and not to anyone else. You're too strong for that."

"What if I don't want to be strong anymore? I won't stop until either Zeref is dead or I am. When I do get my hands on Zeref, my beast might take over to finish the job, and I would let it. It's the only way," I state firmly.

"Fairy Tail will help you. I'll help you," Laxus promises.

I let out a deep sigh. "I don't want help from you or from anyone. I need to do this on my own and I don't want anyone I care about to get hurt, especially you."

His eyes slightly widen and I pretend I don't realize what I just said. We stare in to each other's eyes for a few eerily silent minutes, and for some reason, we both start leaning forward. Laxus's eyes flick to my lips for a second then back to my eyes.

Our lips get merely a sheet of thin air away before the wheels in my brain turn and I jerk backwards. Immediately, I sense Laxus' regret and disappointed. I quickly rise to my feet, and with clenched fists, walk off into the ominous forest.

I need to keep my distance. I can't let him get too close. I can't let him be hurt when I'm gone the way I was when my parents died. I can't and I won't.