Meeting Shrekspectations (discontinued)

I'm Finding My Way

A couple of weeks have passed since the date, and Caillou was currently looking for Shrek in the cafeteria. He had invited Caillou to come sit at his table at lunch that day. He was nervous, to say the least. What if he spills his milk on his pants? Or one of Shrek's friends' pants? What if he embarrassed himself, and his friends didn't like him?

Caillou was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard hollering from in front of him.

"Hey, Caillou! Over here!" He could see the husky green back waving his muscular arm in the air. Caillou smiled as his worries started to drift away, making his way to the table. When he got there, Shrek's friends were staring at him. Caillou gulped as Shrek scooted over to make room for him.

"Guys, this is Caillou. Caillou, this is Ging, and Pin." He grinned when he was done. Caillou looked around the table with an awkward wave. A fake cough could be heard from the other side of Shrek, along with a grunt from him.

"O-Oh yeah, this is Fiona. My... girlfriend." Shrek rubbed the back of his head awkwardly as he looked at Caillou. Caillou was devastated. His girlfriend? Did their date not matter to him? Did that kiss not matter to him? Was Shrek a... no, he couldn't be.

"Oh. Hi Fiona." He mumbled. He looked down at his salad as he stabbed a piece of lettuce with his fork. As he began to eat, he listened to the conversation that was going on around him, though he didn't know what they were actually talking about. All he could think about was Fiona. What the actual heck!? They frickin' kissed, for the name of DreamWorks! Caillou's anger was building up inside him.

But what drew the line was when Fiona leaned across Shrek's chest and pressed her lips passionately against Shrek's. Caillou was done.

He stood up abruptly, causing Fiona to pull away from their snogfest in surprise. Caillou stepped out of the bench and grabbed his tray, heading to the trash can to dump it. He threw the plate down and "calmly" walked to the bathroom. He couldn't deal with this. He was about to throw a temper tantrum, and he knew it. He really had to learn how to stop that.

He opened the door to the bathroom and slammed the stall door shut, ripping toilet paper off the roll and covering the seat of the toilet, sitting down. He crossed his legs and arms as he tried to control his breathing, staring at the wall with a pout on his face.

Why did the world hate him? The first time he likes someone, and he gets thrown in the trash where he belongs. Who even does that!? They just went on a date, too! He thought Shrek actually liked him... Is this what dating is always like? Caillou wasn't sure. The bell rang, signalling that lunch was over. He sighed as he stood, unlatching the door and stepping out, stopping at the sink to wash his hands. He'd just have to get back at Shrek, and give him a taste of his own nasty medicine. Even if he did have a nice apple bottom.

The next day, Shrek tries stopping Caillou in the hallway, but he just pressed pass him. Caillou felt sorta mean that he did that, but it also felt good at the same time. Caillou knew exactly what he was wanting to do. Two things, in fact, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to pull them off. Where was he going to find multiple gallons of mustard at a reasonable price?

He sighed as he continued into his choir class, the first one in as always.

"Hey, Caillou," The teacher, Mr. Pewdiepie said as he looked up from his laptop, "How's it going, bro? You seem a bit down." Caillou rolled his eyes.

"I-I'm fine, I guess." Caillou sat on the risers as he waited for the bell to ring. Mr. Pewdiepie stood up and slowly made his way over to Caillou, sitting down next to him as he ran his slim fingers through his perfectly greasy hair. You could see the small particles of Cheeto dust fall from the clumpy strands, and the smell of Mountain Dew on his breath. Caillou shivered. He never really liked Mr. Pewdiepie. He always tried getting Caillou to talk more, but he wasn't buying it.

Caillou leaned his chin on his hand, looking up at Mr. Pewdiepie. Luckily, before Caillou could answer, the bell rang. He quickly stood up and made his way back to his desk, sitting down to take attendance. Caillou didn't want to deal with this today.

When Caillou got home, he raided the fridge for any mustard they had. He placed them on the table as his mom walked in.

"Hey, Caillou. What'cha up to?" She asked as she stopped at the counter to grab her purse. He shrugged and turned back to the fridge, digging behind last night's' leftovers, seeing if they had any expired mustard. His mom hummed as she grabbed her keys.

"Well, have fun with whatever you're doing. Your dad and I are going out for tonight, and Rosie's staying to night at D.W.'s house. We'll be back around Midnight, okay?" She turned to him as he pulled one more bottle out.

"Yes, mommy. I'll see you later." She smiled and kissed his sweet, bald head as she left the room, the sound of the front door closing behind her. Caillou was lining up to mustards by expiration date, just because he could. He pulled a paper bag  out from the cabinet and stuffed them in, rolling up the top of it. Caillou took the back upstairs to his room and sat it down on the desk, so that he had easier access to the closet.

Wait... Was Caillou in the closet? Not literally, but...

He continued to question himself as he pulled out the darkest hoodie he could find, slipping it over his head. It was a bit bigger than he remembered, but he didn't care. He looked at the clock; 8:43. He smiled to himself as he grabbed the bag of mustard, jogging down the stairs and out the back door. He lifted his hood up over his shiny head, hoping he wouldn't get caught for what he was about to do.

After a couple of minutes, he finally was at the back of Shrek's house. Or so, what he thought was Shrek's house. It had a huge swap around the side, just like Shrek had told him once. He put the bag of mustard down next to him as he pulled a bottle out. Though his original plan was to fill the entire swamp with mustard, there was no way Caillou could actually do that. So he did the next big thing.

He started turning the bottle upside down and squirting out the yellow condiment, watching it sink under the shallow water. Soon it could be seen from the top, and Caillou had to admit that it looked disgusting, but he couldn't wipe the smile from his face.

He continued to do so until all the bottles were empty. He dropped them all back in the bag and walked to the park where he threw the bag away. He wiped his dirty hands on his jeans as he walked back home, feeling satisfied- but not entirely. He still had another thing in mind.