Your Nicotine Saved Me

Chapter 1

I must admit, putting the one thing that I have always despised between my lips for the first time in months does feel wrong. It's like all this hard work to quit was pointless. At the same time however it is a huge relief. Taking my first drag and tasting the bitter taste of nicotine on my lips always feels extremely satisfying. All my troubles float off of me and I now had a smile on my face. Of course there was that little nagging voice in the back of my head screaming for me to put this cigarette out but the need overcame it. I didn't feel guilty that I had gone back on my promise to myself to never smoke again, I know that I need this one cigarette and will probably need a lot more of them in the near future.

My life has finally hit the low point that I was expecting it to and instead of doing the usual teenage girl thing of crying in a corner or having a breakdown I decided to smoke. It's always been the thing that calmed me down. So here I was sitting on a couple of rocks on an abandoned beach at 2am wondering what I was going to do next. As the wind blew viciously against my cheeks my blond frizzy hair was all over the place.

This was the exact spot that I had had my first cigarette when I was only 13. I remember stealing a packet from my parents who were too hammered at the time to even notice and walking down here with 3 of my mates. We all ended up coughing our guts up but we all became addicted pretty quickly. It was never hard to steal fags off of my parents, as they're always too drunk to really notice. In the end I started selling them to other people at school and was able to actually earn some decent money. By the time everyone turned 16 they had either quit already or were able to get their own cigarettes without my help.

Looking back on it now I began to laugh, I still had a lot of that money saved up now in some shitty bank in town. I remember thinking that if I saved it all I could end up leaving home by the time I turned 18 and I could go to university or something. Look at me now though, I'm turning 18 in 2 months and I can't even quit smoking never mind decide on a university course or a place of my own to stay. I'm stuck in a rut and I don't even have a place to really go. You can't really count my house a home considering the amount of house parties that my parents have and the fact that they are drunk all the time. I really don't know what I'm going to do.

Taking my last drag on my fag I scrape it across the rocks to put it out and throw it out to sea. I put the rest of my packet in my pocket and stood up. About to walk up the steep path I had just come down I realise that there is someone only a few meters away sitting on the rocks and smoking. Assuming it was someone I already know I start walking towards the figure. After all no one ever came down here, not when there was a huge golden beach just 5 minutes away.

No one really knew about this small beach apart from my mates and me. We only use it to smoke and occasionally camp out and we'd never seen anyone else here before. That was until now at least.

Even though it was dark my eyes adjusted to realise that I had never met this kid before. He looked to be my age and about 6 foot tall. I could just about make out that he had dark hair and his eyes seemed pretty dark too. Realising how awkward this is I say the first thing that comes to mind.

"You got a light?" yep that just shows how much I'm addicted to cigarettes. I then see a smile appear across his face that makes my heart skip a beat, it's only dark but I can already tell that he's cute.

"Sure." He says throwing me his lighter, watching me light my second cigarette of the night. As I put the bugger between my lips i taste the nicotine as soon as it hits them. I form a small smile of relief before blowing a few smoke rings and chucking him back his lighter. I can tell that he's new around here as this place is pretty small and there's only one high school so I'd know him already if he weren't.

"How'd you do that?" he asks and I suddenly realise how sexy his voice actually is. I look at him slightly confused for a few seconds before realising what he's going on about.

"What smoke rings?" I ask and he nods still smiling "It's easy!" I say as I sit down next to him and show him my only skill. If I could get a respectable job and earn money through smoking I would probably be a millionaire. As much as I hate cigarettes they're all I have really. He begins to laugh loudly as I attempt to show him how to do them yet he is hopeless at it. The only reason I'm so good is because of how long I've smoked for.

"So, you new around here?" I finally find the courage to ask.

"Yeah, only one year left of school and I had to move to a different one and find a new smoking place." He replies laughing again. His laugh really was nice to listen to.

"I'm guessing your going to be going to St Pats then?" I ask even though I already know the answer.

"Yeah, what's it like there?"

"Well I'm in my last year there and I can honestly say that I hate it. It's full of snobs!" he chuckles at my comment and looks down at me. It's only then that I notice how much I like his big chocolate brown eyes that he keeps flicking his flowing black hair out of.

"Well at least I'll recognise someone there tomorrow. What's your name anyway?" he asks.

"Stella, you know like the Lager." this just makes him laugh again and I love it. I don't know what it is about his laugh that was so addictive. But it's like you're favourite song that you can just listen to forever and still not get bored of.

"Well you're very funny Stella, I'm Oscar." He says reaching his hand out so that I can shake it.

"And you're terrible at smoke rings Oscar!"

"You're going to regret saying that Stella!" he replies with a devilish grin on his face.

"And why would that be?" I ask raising one of my eyebrows.

I then watch as he throws his fag butt into the rocks and reaches his arms underneath me picking me up and carrying me bridal style down towards the icy sea.

"Oscar. What the hell dude?" I shout between laughs. His grip tightens around me and his eyes are locked into mine. I couldn't help but smile. Even though we had only just met I felt comfortable in his arms, like I belonged there.

Taking off his shoes with me still in his arms he begins to walk into the sea until the water is up to his waist.

"Now are you ready to apologies?" He asks with the same playful grin still on his face.

"Yes, I'm sorry ok! I'm sorry that you're bad at smoke rings!" I laughed.

Feeling myself fall from out of his arms I land into the water. Seeing Oscar in hysterics I take this as an opportunity to get back at him. I pull onto his arm so that he looses balance and falls into the water with me.

Laughing and splashing like idiots it really did feel like we had known each other for a lifetime and for the first time since the age of 13 the idea of having a cigarette was not on my mind. All that was on my mind was Oscar. His smile, his chocolate brown eyes even the way he smells ever so slightly of peppermint. Everything about him made me smile and I really didn't know why. All I knew is that I wanted this moment to last forever.

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So i hope that this first Chapter is okay! Please let me know what you think!:)

Lots of Loves and Hugs

Tia x x x