If you use the word orbs as a synonym for eyes, that's fine. That's really fucking fine. But if you use it in every other paragraph that it seems as if the word eyes doesn't even exist on this planet anymore, then I'm already 4000% d o n e with you.
Another thing: If you really, really, really think that Harry's eyes are electric green, look at the picture on the right. That's electric green. Now, is Harry's eyes that fucking bright? No???? Yeah, you're dang right no. What's even worse? When you say they're electric green but then you describe them as a totally different shade of green.
EXAMPLE:
His electric green eyes dug into my plain brown ones. Harry's eyes were so pretty, they were a murky green, with a hint of blue surrounding. The tint of green his eyes are soooo unbelievable. Like, they're the color of puke; dark and really dark. But they're electric green. Or at least, two seconds ago they resembled the color of absolute throw up. Now they suddenly brightened and turned so shiny that it made me go blind.
^That was some humor but then some of it was not. Point is, don't overdo 'orbs' and don't describe them as electric green.
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Fan-Fiction Don'ts
FanfictionWant to start a fan-fiction? Well you better fucking stop and read this and learn because I'm 5003% done with ridiculous ass fan-fics. **If you're offended sorry but these are pure opinions and are not meant to be taken seriously. So if you comme...
