Fan-Fiction Don'ts

Names lOl hey Purple

FIRST OF ALL, after returning from my unnoticed hiatus trip, I need, NEED to rant about this, which usually only happens in fanfics:

Names.

I recently read a Niall fanfic literally twenty minutes ago and nearly spat out my cantelope when I read what the main character's name is.

I WON'T MENTION IT BC I DONT WANT TO RECEIVE HATE OR WHATEVER CRAP FROM THE AUTOR AND HER FANS BUT CAN I JUST SAY I LITERALLY LAUGHED INSIDE DEVIOUSLY BC OMGEHAHHCE.

From this, I remembered all the idiotic names the main character's always get- and like said, they're fucking stupid and absurd and they 99.9% of the time make me wish I was pushed off a cliff.

Literally, it goes like this:

I awoke to the beautiful chirping of the small mockingjay that cradles itself above our roof in its nest, that damn mockingjay. Sometimes, I want to buy a rifle and blow it to smithereens.

But, sad to say, I'm quite glad the cursed bird woke me from my slumber, for I have school in less than an hour. I swore under my breath as numerous, rough knocks rang from my bedroom door.

"Grape, wake up!"

OK LITERALLY THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS. IT GOES ALL FRILLY UNTIL HER NAME IS MENTIOneD AND IN THIS CASE its Grape. Dicking Grape!!!!!!!!????¡¿7(

Don't underestimate me when I say there are like twenty million fanfics that have fucking hellious names for their characters. Grape, Red, Pink, Or, Lamb, Paint, holy fuck.

There's a nEvErending LIST. FUCK.

LORD HELP US WHY R PEOPLE SO BLIND TO NORMAL NAMES LIKE EMMA OR TAYLOR HWUBRIIJ,UBV DtOP.

i'm crying over this rn i cannot take yall seriously if uour m/c's name is Plum. plZ STOP I'M HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK helP!!!?!,,"!