About it...

Chapter 5

It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends. ______________________________________

POV Ben

"There is a party at the Pi Jota Mu house," Wess said when we where in psychology class. I didn't know I should go or not.

We enter the house with my roommate Erik. The house is filled with drunk people, the living room is illuminated with green and red lights, the music is playing loud; I can't hear anything.

I fell someone's eyes on me. When I turn around I see a group of girls laying on the wall and one of the girls is Cara. She is staring at me with her green eyes. She takes a sip of whatever she's drinking and turns to face her friends again. I walk to the kitchen to find Erik and get a drink. I take a red plastic cup and put some water in. I usually don't drink and I don't go to parties either. I stay there waiting for Erik who probably knows everybody here. Then I see Erik enter the kitchen door with some guy following him.

"Ben, this is Dave" Erik says and smiles. Dave hands me his hand , I take it and shake it.

"Yeah, Hi I'm Ben. Erik's roommate" I say. While I take sip of my water. The music is getting louder now.

"Come, I will present you some friends" Dave says while he walks us out of the kitchen. Dave takes us to the living room and to a couch that is full of people. They are drinking and laughing. Then Dave takes a place on the couch and then a brown haired girl just comes and took a sit on his lap. Dave says to the girls ears "Hi baby" she giggles. I think they are a couple or something, but that's non of my business.

I decide to sit on the floor and Erik takes his place on the couch next to Cara, she is always there where we are.

"So...who wants to play truth or dare?" A black haired guy asks. And all those persons said yes. Except me. Then a guy came out of the kitchen and gave us some sort of drink red drink. It smelled like cherry. I was staring at the red liquid. I'm trying to debate if I should drink it or not.

"Drink it Ben" Erik said. "It's only one" So I made what he instructed and drink it. It burned. What kind of drink is this?

"Okay so let's start" Cara says.

She putted a empty beer bottle on the floor and turned it, till it was spinning on the floor. It stopped in front of Erik and so keep it going. Till it stopped in front of me. I was so bored that I swallowed I think 4?, 5? drinks of that cherry thing. I could barely see straight. Everything was blurry.

"So...Ben truth or dare" And off course I said dare. The fact that I was drunk was so noticeable." Okay, so..." Cameron said. That's the name of the black haired guy. Cameron. I heard his name while we where playing. "You have to go to a room and kiss Cara" He laughed. Cameron must be past out too. I opened my eyes and looked to Cara. She was smiling like an idiot. Like she always does. I shook my head. "You have to do it, you said you wanted dare. So...go on. There's a room in the second floor." Then Cara stood up, took my arm and walked me to the second floor.

She opened the door of a room. The room was big and there was a big bed. Cara closed the door behind us and she made me sit on the bed. Im not thinking straight. I'm so drunk. Cara takes place on my lap and I sledded down to the bed. She takes his blouse off and throw it to the floor. Then she started to kiss me. Two minutes later I was without my shirt too. So we continued like that. But when I see Cara isn't here anymore instead Jess is here. But I know it isn't her.

How could I do this ?

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POV Jess

We decided to take a time. To think. We two are fucking assholes. How could we ruin this?

I star to cry the moment he left. Hours later I decide to go for a walk, to clear my mind. I stayed with the same clothes that I had for the lunch with Ben.

I walk through the New York streets. With no rush, I have enough time to think what will I do. What Ben will do. What Travis will do. Suddenly it begins to thunder. And then I begin to think. That after being heart broken once or twice or maybe even third time, our hearts get tired. We won't cry as much anymore, we won't love as hard anymore. We will instead be scared to get attached with someone. We will be afraid to love someone again. Our heart will continue re-breaking, but sooner or later we won't be crying, we will just be staring into mid air, slowly breaking. Because pain isn't only meant to be cried out, our silence is the proof that we are tired of loving and tired of having our hearts keep breaking over and over and over again. But sometimes I want to feel someone's love like the weather.

But this time. The kiss with Travis, the parking lot, Ben...all of this is my fault. I used to think that when I was tired, sad etc. was other people's fault not mine...but this time I'm the designer of my own catastrophy. Maybe all I need is time. Woah, I never thought I had all that things in my mind. I have to let the rain wash all the pain of today and yesterday.

When I walked across the street I see a Bar named Cherry Bomb. I see a guy enter the Club he has a leather jacket and I knew exactly who it was. When I see, I'm steeping the little stairs up to the Cherry Bomb Bar.