THIN ✔︎

Before and Now

Before

Me in the past.

Before I

Was a different species of human 

The opposite of what I am now 

Before I thought of other things

I dreamt happily

And life was perfect

Before nothing was wrong

I couldn't see the cracks on the surface

I saw the world through a filter of perfection 

Before I ate normally

I ate with my family, laughed

And slept early too 

Before I went shopping

And drank smoothies with friends

Partied and had fun 

Before I didn't worry

About thigh-gaps and weight

About exercise and calories

Before I ran for fun

On early mornings to the beach 

Chatting with my run-buddy

Before life wasn't dismal

And hopeless

And pointless.

Now

Now I've lost hope

Lost sight of the end

Lost faith and lost will

Now I'm dying

From the inside out

Slowly fading away

Now I'm broken

Fragments of the old me remain

Tiny bits of sharp glass

Now the pain is too much

And life has no purpose

For I'm just another body of the billions

Now I'm working

Hard on the way to perfection

Maybe one day I'll get there

Now I have nightmares

Instead of early night dreams

And have restless nights

Now my only goal is to be skinny

To be thin and perfect

And lighter than air.