Forgotten in the Shadows [boyxboy]

Chapter 4- Stepping back for you

(James [Jammie / J ] POV):

I spent the entire time I was in church just thinking about Asa, and how cute he looked when he slept, even if it was on the bench.

He never really said why he is in the park, maybe his house burnt down, or maybe his parents....died.

A bunch or 'What Ifs' started forming in my head, and I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up from the bench, and walked down the tiled isle that separated the two columns of rows of benches, where everyone stopped paying attention the the pastor, and onto me. I felt almost like they were burning a whole into me, although I didn't care. I needed out, and I needed to find where Asa was..

"James, where on earth do you think your going?" My mother asks sternly, giving me the look. You know, the one that says if you don't do what she says she will rip your head off.

"To find my....friend. And mother, you wonder why people don't like us, it's because your too judgemental and you have a heart the size of an apple seed." I said, as I stopped walking, and stared directly at my mother with bold eyes. I had enough, I am not some kind of rag doll she can just play around with when she gets lazy. "Oh, and the kid you were so rudely talking about yesterday, yeah he has a name. It's called Asa." I said, before turning on my heel and walking away from my mother, ignoring everything she yelled at me.

I had enough!

(Asa's amazing POV)

I was just peacefully sitting on the same uncomfortable bench I sat on last night, when I heard loud feet banging across the hot pavement. It made me quickly turn around, and sit up, ready to fight the person that may or may not want to rape me.

It was James though, and he was literally dripping with sweat, just standing there now, a few feet from me, and he had a small smile on his face. It was the one that made me smile on the outside, but was screaming on the inside. I have only really seen him twice, but he is freaking sexy, but I would never admit that to him, because he is well to perfect to be gay, or bisexual for that matter. I bet he's as straight as a flag pole.

"What's wrong, Asa?" He asks, as he looks at me with concern.

"N-nothing. Just, a little dizzy. I think I am starting to come out of the shock that..... my f-family has disowned me... and sadly, I don't blame them..... in fact, if you came here to say that you don't want to see me anymore, or that you want me to leave this neighborhood, and get out of your life, I will." I said calmly, although I was screaming on the inside.

"Asa, buddy.... what are you talking about? Do you....n-not want to be friends or something? I came all the way here from church! I had to hope the gate just to get over here, - they really need to make it taller, creepers could come in here and rape us in our sleep. But anyways, I didn't come here to tell you to leave, I came here to make sure you were alright." He said. His voice was serious, and I tried to search his eyes to see if he was lying, but I couldn't find anything.

"R-really?" I asked. How stupid can I get?

I don't think he would say that unless he cared, but there is always that chance that he just feels sorry for me. Like what if he doesn't really like me, but just pities me or something? Oh Gawd, that'd be terrible. I don't want people to pity me.

But I guess that's what I guess for causing attention to myself. Maybe going to a public park that is in a rich person neighborhood wasn't one of my best choices, yes I admit it was pretty stupid. But at least I met this sexy guy, James. Too bad  I am leaving.

"Look, James, you seem amazing, and I bet you are. In fact, I bet your girlfriend is great too. I hope you guys are happy, and I wish you my best. I think it's best for the both of us, if I just....leave. I mean, I caused too much commotion. I mean, no one has gone to the park today, and I know perfectly well kids don't want to be locked up in their house, rather than at the park." I said.

"Asa, where-" He said, but I cut him off.

"I will be fine, James. I think If I stayed, I would just be criticized, and I can't live in a park, I'm sorry. I'm sure people already calling the cops, saying there is a homeless man in the neighborhood, and they don't know if he is spreading any diseases around." I say coldly, glaring at the houses that all seem to be closing in on me.

"Asa, where is this coming from?" He asked. He seemed a little irritated, and hurt. Did I hurt his poor ego or something?

"It's the truth. A guy like me should not be here. I don't belong....because I'm..... you know what, never mind. Bye, James." I say, holding back the tears that are threatening to come pouring out of my eyes.

"Bye...." He said. He was looking at his feet, and his hands were tucked in his black dress pants, and his hair covered his head, so I couldn't even see a little bit of him. All I saw was the tip of his pale nose.

I stared at him for a few more seconds, before turning on my heel, and walking the opposite way he came from.

"Asa...." James muttered, his voice was emotionless.

"Yes?" I asked. I played it calm, but deep down inside, I hoped he was going to force me to stay. Force me to sleep in his hour or something. Make me feel like I belong somewhere, and not just in the shadows, like I usually was in. 

"If your trying to leave, it's the other way..." He said. His head was still down, stubbornly looking at his feet still. His voice was still emotionless, and hollow. It didn't seem like there was a soul in his body. It looked like he was frozen in place, almost like an emo statue.

"Right..." I said awkwardly. I turned the other way, and walked slowly down the perfectly paved street, that probably costed more than my house....or my old house. 

So this is what it feels like to be homeless and alone forever.

I felt like my body was empty, like my heart was sucked out of it, and all my flowing blood left it too, making me dead. That's how I felt, dead. My body felt cold, and my mind was blank, if I tried to think of something, it'd just go back to the blank fuzzy slate that it was originally at. I kind of felt like a baby, right when it's born, minus the annoying screams.

I felt like I didn't know what to say, or what to do. My mind was blank, and my dead heart was stuck in my throat, giving me a really uncomfortable lump in my throat, and swallowing just made it worse.

I was officially, and utterly alone. Just me, and my nonresponsive heart. All alone, in this huge place we call Earth. I am just another addition to the many that are Forgotten In the Shadows.

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[A/N: SORRY if this one is short too, I only got an hour or so to work on it because I was getting hammered with IMs, and I don't like to ignore them, it's just rude! xD anyways, I hope you liked it, because I had a great time writing it, even if it made me a little more depressed. lol.  Vote Comment please!!!??? It would be much appreciated, and the more votes and comments means the faster it will be uploaded, and LONGER it wil bee too!]

xxox

Love you guys, Derek.

PS- Don't take a cup of water from a random person walking alongside the street, you don't know whats in it! I speak from experience! LOL

REMEMBER::::::: VOTE AND COMMENT! Oh, and FAN if you like this story! LOL...

This has not been edited! D: