Diary of an Average Nebraskan Christian Teen Girl

December 26th, 2015

10:51 P.M.

Hey Jesus,

Christmas was a lot of fun, I got a ton of presents, because I have so much family. Which/Whom I am so grateful for, but the whole time all I could think of was having my first Christmas with Chad, and Emily. We did video chat earlier today though.(Just Chad and I)  He had a great day too, he says that he misses me, I miss him too. I haven't been talking to Emily as much lately, I guess that she's moved on. Chad will probably too, and I'll be all alone again. I'm not supposed to rely on other people for my happiness, I'm supposed to rely on you, but it's so hard. I feel so clingy towards them too, maybe that's why Emily is getting distant. Maybe I should stop talking to them so much, I don't want to, but I don't know... I just, I feel like he doesn't actually like me, why would anyone like me? I mean, he's not tricking me, he wouldn't do that. He must just think that he loves, I mean likes me, but he actually doesn't, he just likes the idea of me. Yeah, that's it. I'm usually the one who has to initiate the communication anyway, I'll test it out, next week, I won't call and I'll see if he does. I just don't want to be a clingy long-distance friend who is always calling and texting. Let's see if I can do it. It's going to be hard. Well, that's all that I really have to say today, we're heading back home tomorrow, and I'm going to the NYE's youth group lock in, that should be fun. Goodnight Beautiful Saviour, I love you!

~Chloe E. Almond