Girls Like Girls

For Kaylee

TO KAYLEE, MY BEST FRIEND, MY SOUL MATE, MY HAPPINESS, MY ANGER, MY EVERYTHING.

Dear Kaylee,

Do you remember the day we first met?

It was a morning in autumn. You were wearing a woolen hat, a white jacket, a blue scarf around your neck, black jeans, and black boots. It was a Sunday, and there you were, sitting on a bench along the roadside, sipping coffee from your cup and watching the cars pass by.

I was out to buy groceries for Mom that day. I planned as soon as I finished I would go home and continue watching Doctor Who on my laptop.

Yet when I saw you, saw that empty look in your eyes, I decided, Fuck it, Doctor Who can wait.

So I abandoned my mission, bought a cup of coffee, and joined you.

You didn't really take notice of me when I sat, but you did fidget a little when you saw a stranger sit beside you.

It was silence. In my mind I played so many scenarios to engage us into a conversation, but I never had the courage to do it. You sat there for a very, very, very long time, and by the time I left my butt was frozen and sore from sitting. I also got a earful from my mom for not returning early. She had to run buy the groceries herself when I didn't come back by the time I promised to.

The next day came, I went out, and I didn't know why. I didn't like going out much, especially when I could just stay in my bed, eat popcorn and watch Doctor Who all day.

I guess the reason why I went out of my comfort zone was because of you.

I went back to the exact bench and sat there. Something told me you were going back.

You didn't.

Of course it was a major blow on my mood and the rest of my day. But the next day I went there.

And the next.

And the next.

And the next.

Finally, finally, finally, during the moment I decided to give up, you appeared. When I saw you agan, my heart flew to the heavens; I was scared it wouldn't come back. Just seeing you made me happy. I easily forgave you for the previous days when you didn't show up; when you broke my heart unknowingly. A part of me was confused, though. It asked questions like: Why I was acting like this? Why was I so happy to see you? Who are you? Why are you so special to me? But they didn't matter. You came. And that was everything.

But my elated mood didn't last long, and was ruined when I saw the face of yours.

You had panda eyes, and you seemed gloomier than the last time I saw you, and skinnier, too. You gave a depressed aura out. It was as if life was sucked out of you. My heart cried when I saw you at that state.

So after you sat down next to me I quickly went and bought four doughnuts and two cups of coffee for the both of us. Thank goodness you were still there when I went back.

When I handed the two doughnuts and the cup of coffee to you, you looked at me with wide eyes, confusion written all over your face.

"Have s-some," I said. (Dammit I stuttered) "You need to eat."

You pursed your lips before accepting the food. It wasn't long before you were wolfing down all of the doughnuts and giving me a big and thankful smile. Man, was your smile gorgeous.

"Thank you," you said softly, and I felt heat rushing to my cheeks.

I laughed. "No worries. Evelyn Adams," I introduced, sticking my hand out.