Buses and Bunk Beds

Chapter 1

"Cal?" Luke said with his rough voice. He sounded so cute when he speaks and not to mention his beautiful eyes. But i knew this couldn't happen i knew he couldn't be mine. He wasn't like me in any way. I gaze into his beautiful blue eyes

"yes baby?". He came closer and closer, my heart beat sped up. i felt my face getting warm. and the feelings again hit me. the feelings i felt for Luke will never disappear.

"I been wanting to tell you something for a while , a long while. Im so sorry ive treated you like i do on tour." I knew what he was talking about, all those times that he would call me queer on tour jokingly. Obviously i would laugh and play along, But in my heart that was no joke i would cry when i slept on the bunk bed, i would hoped he wasn't like this that he would change his ways for me. At least.
"its okay" i said feeling pain in my heart knowing it wasn't ok. knowing the sharp object underneath my pillow would go across my stomach. and tears went down my face just thinking about all those times i should've stopped but i didn't , i kept going. He put his hands on my face and wiped the tears away from my eyes.

"it was never okay. Calum it hurts me to see you this way" I could feel his warm hand on my skin. I wish i could stay like this forever, A never ending Heaven. "Luke" i said staring into his rough skin, i couldn't bear be like this and look at him in the eyes.

"I have been hiding things from you for a while" I Looked up to see a blurred vision of him, and i wanted to cry more he couldn't leave.
"please stay for a while longer" i begged him.
"Calum im sorry." he said with watering eyes.

"No please dont, this is the only time i could feel safe. and be with you"
i cried harder. I felt so much pain i didn't want t o go to reality. The reality that i have here is all i needed I felt his hands grab my face. pulling it towards him. I felt his lips push against mine. This feeling is the feeling ive been looking for . What ive wanted, This is why i keep going.
"I Love you"
he said catching his breath. I felt the warmth of his body push against mine. My tongue fighting his. It felt so amazing. i could feel myself wanting more. Praising every single minute of it. I started to grab his waist but He pulled away. and i wined at the lost of his warmth body.

"I have to go" He said. I look deep into his eyes to see that they were watering also like mine. He really does love me, Maybe just maybe he could be mine. I started to see blurry vision i couldn't see Luke anymore. He was slowly disappearing. Like his love for me.
"I love you Luke, please -" with that i couldn't see him anymore. not even his beautiful crystal eyes. But i could stil hear his Echo in my Heart. The words he said to me before he left.
'I Love You'.

I woke up to seeing Luke throughout the curtain peek. Me and Luke's bunk beds were in the same place. Mine was on top of Michael and Luke was on top of Ashtons bed. I heard a quick sniff from Luke. Its sounded like he was crying. I kept looking, He was wiping his face with his shirt. Luke's eyes was red. Why was he crying? , I Heard foot steps walking in. I kept myself from making noise , i could here someones voice talking but who. "Are you okay?" It was Ashtons Voice. "yeah, im fine." He said wiping more tears away. "Its the dreams again, isn't it ?" " Yeah, they keep happening every night. I just cant do this anymore, Every night its different but He was always there. With me every night."

What was he talking about, i didn't know what it was but it sounded sad. I wanted to get out and run to his arms. Let him feel protected knowing hes with me. Knowing that nothing would happen to him as long as he is with me. But i couldn't. I couldn't do any of the things i wanted to do With Luke because of society. It was wrong to love another man if your one. "Isn't it time-"
" No " Luke said with a harsh tone. I could see him approaching my bunk bed. I hesitated and closed my eyes quickly. I could feel the breeze of the Curtain Opening  and His Eyes darting at me.
" Good he still is asleep".
I could sense the Sadness coming from him. With that I heard him close my curtain. Opening my Eyes to look at him one more time through the peek hole. I could still see his beautiful Blonde hair. He is such an amazing person.
"Luke go and wash your eyes"
"Okay "
I heard footsteps going towards the bathroom and Ashton's heading toward the front of the bus. I should get out and brush my teeth.  I Fixed my Nirvana Sweater and Left to the Back of the bus Without Pants on just underwear. We would all change together before A show so I kinda gotten used to it. Walking back I heard the water On. He must be in here washing his eyes. Maybe I could ask what was it all about. Maybe he would tell me everything and I could try to make him feel better. I grab the door nob and opened it slowly. I could see Luke. I push the door father . And entered the bathroom.  I couldn't help but just look at Luke, He was so Cute even when he looks tired. I could feel myself wanting more even just a hug from him could help me.
"Why are your eyes red?". I knew the answer why. Not completely but at least part of it. He didn't say nothing he just stood there. Looking at me, as if I did. Something horrible to him.

"can I just get a hug cal? , I had a nightmare and it didn't end so well"
I step forward and put my arms around the Blonde boy. He tighten his grip on me. I could feel his heart beat. I couldn't help but want to Kiss him on the cheek. I wanted to do anything to make him feel better. He was the only person I loved so much. I could feel my member growing at the sense of his warmth body against mine. I couldn't let him see it or know anything about my feelings for him.
" Calum " he said and backed away .
"is that your -"
"NO" I responded and Quickly ran back into my bunk bed ignoring the fact that it had slipped out when I turned around. Please tell me he didn't see it. Just please. shut the curtain and Pulled the blanked over me. I heard foot steps approaching again. Please Let it Not Be Luke,  Please.
"Calum" he said opening my curtain. I felt the breeze of the curtain on my member. I was under the covers, couldn't see anything.
" I could see you hand Calum, stop hiding." My hand? , my hands were covering my face knowing I was blushing.
" Come out cal, or I'll come get you". Not a word came out of me. I really didn't want Luke touching me at all since the accident that happened Earlier.
"I have to do everything myself here, fuck". 
I felt cold hands grab my member and pull upwards. I bit my lip at the feeling of Luke warms Hands touching me.
" Ahh" I moaned.
I freaked out Suddenly at the Noise that I made. I pulled all the covers over me completely knowing no Body part was out anymore. I just hope Luke didn't here me moan. Couldn't tell him now, I can't tell him that I love him.

"Calum I'm So Sorry I Thought that was your hand and I went- wait did you moan?" I heard a Chuckle from him. Why did he think this was funny .

I was here Scared shitless and he is over there laughing. It's not gonna be funny when he knows that I love him. "Your hands are cold".
I lied, and I felt like he knew I was lying. I could feel a smirk on his Face. He was going to tell the boys. There going to make fun of me and Call Me Woody. They always do this. "Oh They are?" He said in a sarcastic tone. I fucking hate Luke. "Calum Pop your head out , oh wait you already did" He laughed. I Really Fucking Hate Luke Now.