Grace's Ultimate High School Hack Book

The One With the Uneccessary Complaints

"You have joined the conversation. Say hi!"

'have you ever sat with a group of friends and realized how unimportant you are? and how it wouldn't make a difference if you weren't there? and you truly realize you're not important to basically anybody? a tub of chocolate ice cream doesn't make me feel better at all, it just makes me feel even worse because I'm telling myself that I'm gaining weight by eating this. it's a never ending cycle, I swear.

I don't know why I'm so down lately because of this school thing when other people in the world are in bigger bad situations then me right. So I should be grateful that I'm healthy and alive and have freedom, yet why do I still feel so down?

Well, I believe that everyone has their own feelings and point a view that everyone's pain or depression is equal. Everyone deals with their own problems differently. So just because you're dealing with something really bad doesn't mean that when someone else is depressed or in pain you go and tell them "hey your pain or depression is nothing compared to what I'm dealing with" because that's not true. Everyone has their own way of coping with stuff and their own emotions that you can't compare to yourself. Everyone has different pain tolerances, and some people are more sensitive than others. I hate when people do that, i mean.. so just because you're dealing with a "worse" situation than mine, my feelings shouldn't be considered? so you're telling me that I shouldn't even be talking about it, that I should just sit here and listen to your pain or depression because mine isn't as "worse" as yours. That's complete and utter bullshit, if I could listen to you and gladly do so then you should listen to me too.

I hate when people think just because they went through the same crap as someone else that, that means they know what that person is feeling and they are creating the other person's feeling for them. if every situation is the same or that everyone's emotion is the same when it isn't. for example, let's say you have had a fallout with your best friend and then you set up in your mind that friends aren't always going to be there in life. so when a person comes to you and is freaking out and in the verge of crying because they had a huge fallout with their friend and they are saying things like "no I can't do that because she's/he's my best friend" or "she's/he's my best friend so ...etc." you don't go and be all "hey stop it doesn't matter that they are your best friend I learned that friends aren't going to be there your entire life trust me."

who are you to bring them down? you don't know if their relationships are going to last forever until they die, or if they are not going to last because that's NOT YOUR relationship and NOT YOUR emotions. the better thing to do is just listen and just give them some advice for their situation. don't mute out the whole problem just because it involves best friends, or whatever else.

It just gets me so pissed off that some people think they know all about life and things that they don't treat other people emotions gently.

oh man, and don't even get me started with the people who get mad and call you a petty bitch just because you didn't do what they wanted you to do. Or if you're doing something great and they're all 'whatever' about it because they want to do the same but they don't have the courage to so they make you feel like shit. like no, you don't go making people feel like shit for doing something great. especially if that is of what they are already shy about and you have the audacity to make them feel like shit about it. I should punch you if you ever do that.

If you did, do you realize what you are doing? you're mentally making someone feel like that they're not doing well. they already felt uncertain about it and you just gave them even more uncertainty. and then they stop doing what they were doing and you might have just ruined someone's dream because you were immature. you should never bring someone down, take it this way; if you don't want to feel like shit, then you're damn fucking right no one else wants to feel like shit.'

i got in a fight with one of my best friends today. it was so petty, i don't even know how it started. then during 7th period (lab), i was with the same three people i usually hang out with when jenna's not in.

"-and to top it all off, you're constantly up jenna's ass. you're obsessed with her." destiny said, as i sent an annoyed glare her way. i rolled my eyes, because fuck. she's my best friend, of course i'm obsessed with her. but most definitely not in the way that she had thought, not in the way they all thought.

i was steaming by then, but of course i didn't let it show. after my roast session was over, we moved on to destiny. of course little angel katy didn't say a rude word.

"you scare me sometimes when you get mad." she said, a giggle following as she tried to be cute. i internally cringed, because she was a literal fucking child. but of course jack and destiny just cooed at her and jack replied with a 'you're scared of everyone'. no, but if i said that everyone would begin to throw hissy fits.

moving on to jack, i could've said so many things.

"when you and nikki tag team roast me, it's so fucking annoying."

i settled on that simple sentence, when my mind was racing with all the things i could've said to her like:

you have horse teeth. you're fake. you are so far up katy's ass, i can't see you anymore. you act like you're better than everyone else but you're not. you call yourself brutally honest, but you're a plain old bitch. simple as that, not much more to it. your split ends are atrocious, your nails are disgusting. you talk about suicide prevention and to never be mean to anyone but you just contradict yourself more and more each day.

i could go on for hours.

moving on to katy, the sweet sweet angel who almost everyone adored. jack gave an entire speech about how she needs to learn how to take a joke, how she gets too angry too easy, how annoying she is, how sensitive she is, etc. whatever. once that was finally over, and the period was done, we went upstairs. i sit alone in 8th period but destiny sits right next to jenna. did i mention that we were in a 'fight'? yeah, i'm not even completely sure why either.

anyways, we resolved it once i was home. my mom was out again but of course, this was nothing new.

i sighed and plopped down onto my bed. i was over exhausted.

— note, i fell asleep almost as soon as i finished that part of this blog and my computer went to sleep. so the rest of this blog is the day after! —

we had just come back from the mall, melissa alexa and i.

it was pretty fun, but i didn't get my starbucks and that made me very sad. but on the bright side i got my brows done and it was FUCKIN lit!

it was now the evening and melissa and i were sleeping over alexa's house. i was pretty tired, alexa and mel were doing some random shit so of course i chose to blog over that. i said i was tired but really i wasn't, i'd hate to ruin their fun lol.

i had a pretty crappy week to be honest, i kind of just want to wallow in sadness for the rest of the weekend but obviously that wasn't going to happen.

i'm just hoping that tomorrow will be better.

till next time buds,

gracey.