These Last Days

10. pt 1. Running Down.

Shawn's POV

*3 Weeks Later*

He hasn't let me go since it happened, and I don't think he plans too either. Ever. That idea is more fun than I thought it'd be. It skips and tumbles around in my head, leaves me in a smiling daze and makes me wanna giggle. Sometimes I don't know if it's the IV and morphine, or the fact that he manages to sneak into the medi-ward during the after hours to fall asleep with me, talks to me til my eyes are ready to just slip into a medical and soulful bliss with him latched onto my good side. Maybe It's both both. He's probably better than the morphine, and to be honest, I'm more than willing to have close to me, and watching him these past few painful weeks has secured this fact: I'm undoubtedly, wholeheartedly, and unnaturally in 2nd degree like with this boy, wild eyes and all.

What happened in the city was a blur, but he was in focus the whole time. Smoothed along the edges and a bit too bright in some moments but his voice was the only voice of reason at the time, the only thing I could hear amongst the lingering and pulling of death and silence.

The bridge between what was real and what was just a void now. He saved my life, and he's saved me from much worse things, and keeps on doing it, and every time it's like the first time. My skepticism towards the world, my borderline nihilism has melted within weeks of his presence, I'm literally just bandaged and bruised cheese and he's just ...

"Nick, it's time to go."

The lights above turn on harshly, fluorescent white burns into both of our eyes as we use each other's sides to block the light, hide from the intruding familiar voice. Nick groans at Havana's voice and buries his face into my goodside, content with hiding from the world.
I pull him in closer and lay a lazy kiss on his forehead, even more content with shielding him from it. My eyes adjust to the ungodly lights of above and settle on Havana's slim silhouette, her lips pursed but eyes giving off something no doubt more wicked, absolutely loving everything about the scene me and Nick are in.
They've been spying on us for weeks, always "casually" walking in when me and Nick are in the heat of the moment.
cockblockers. Best friends. Sisters.

"Havana, he's just cuddling me, he's not doing anything wrong, why can't he stay?"

She flips her blonde hair over her shoulder, gives me an exaggerated eye roll.

"Because dumbass, you're being discharged today. Overhead those docs in the next room saying so. And if they catch Nick, he'll be even more screwed than you'll be once they find out you've been oggling over each other instead of resting."

It was a bittersweet thought. I was just getting used to our midnight rendezvous and my med-ward room that was a bit too spacious, all works behind my father, I assume.

Nick reluctantly got up, dragging his feet onto the white porcelain floors and letting out a sad huff as he backed away towards Havana.

"I'll see you later, when you're discharged? Hopefully?"

His eyes gleamed for just a bit, his attention on me was truly the best feeling, that wanting sensation deep in my stomach, along with those wild butterflies that would never go away.

But his butterflies were radioactive, and his want truly overpowered mine and God, giving in to him set those mixture of butterflies ablaze, and burned like the flares of white hot sun. My thoughts were everywhere, his eyes had that affect so I just nodded and begged him to come closer once more.
He stepped around my side of the hospital bed, leaning in on the movable food tray that blocked me from legitimately just pulling him infinitely closer cause that's all I fucking wanted.

He looked like he wanted to say something, like 'keep safe' or 'be careful' or 'good luck', but he ended up silently staring at me for a moment, taking in my still-burned neck and bandaged torso. He gave me a peck on the forehead and turned away, and my hand was on his arm before I knew what I was doing. His eyes traveled up from the grip of my fingers on him, up over his arm and to his face.

"I'll be fine,"

we both say quietly, and Nick lets out a sigh, his expression paling and unsure. I look at Nick like how people look at a spooked animal, trying to calm him down. I let him go, slowly, reluctantly; I don't expect him to lunge forward and press his mouth to mine. He likes to surprise me a lot like that. The sweet moans from his lips and the excessive groans from Havana across the room are enough for me to finally persuade him in going with her.

"Later. We''ll see you later, alright?"

I settle back into the low comforts of the bedframe and assure him that I most definitely will.

"Hey, Nick?"

"Ya, babe?"

"Dude, did you really just call him babe, this getting so 90's degrassi."

"No one gets your retro references havy."

"Havana, seriously, let him babe me all he wants, I'm definitely not complaining. Anyways.. Maybe once I'm discharged, you can room with me in my dorm? Pretty sure my dad went all out on well.. all of our rooms to be honest? but um.. ya? Stay with me tonight?"

The desperation and grade A tv cheese in my voice both made me cringe and blush to the point of no return. I had become a cliche. I could feel Havana's maniacal mental laughs from here.

"Already moved my stuff, well... your stuff mostly to the room, you'll be all set. And obviously I'm staying the night. I hate rooming with Jupiter and I'm pretty sure he's been dying to room with Cameron, or Pyro, whatever he calls himself anyways."

"Tonight then."

He smirked, and I smirked back even more wickedly. I'm not gonna lie the pain's been bad, but my burns are mostly healed and the stitches have held up. I mentally reminded myself to thank Bryce, from the plane, and for everything else in between.
they kept saying I was lucky I didn't bleed to death on the flight to the Isle.

"Get some rest Shawn, you'll see plenty of Nick AND us soon. sweet dreams."

Havana blew a kiss and dragged Nick out with her, finally offing those annoyingly bright lights.
Tonight was gonna be so liberating, these stupid hospital gowns had been growing on my nerves, and I missed proper food and puffy blankets and fuck it, I know it's been about 6 seconds but I already miss Nick like an idiot misses the point.

The pain still lingered, my excitement getting the best of me, I haven't seen my friends except for routine visits but still. I missed them. Mostly I worried for Nick though, the updates of his Detox sounded brutal. The fact that he kept himself so grounded when he was with me only proved that he was better with me, and me with him.

The cheesed oozed from my pores, I needed to sleep. I'd see him tonight. And I don't know if I'm more scared than excited. Realizing my Dad's probably joined the ranks of chancellor status, seeing him, finally, will definitely set off some major nerves.

In the wake of everything, despite the romance that caught me by suprise, despite my city being reduced to rubble and ash, and despite the one that saved me needing saving, something was off. It wasn't Nick, or the girls, or even my Dad. Something just felt OFF. I'd like to say it's the pain I endured. Both physical and psychological aftershocks of what happned back in Los Angeles, but whatever that hovering feeling is, It's not letting up. Only thing I can do is wait for those arms again, wait for him even if he isn't doing so well. I know that I can save him. For me, I don't know if they can save me, all they can do for now is just watch.
But I know it's not over yet.

None of this is.

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