I'm scared of posting this book because of how some people are going to react to this book. But I know it needs to be done. Its the least I can do for all the trouble I have caused for the past two days.
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Hopefully this will be the last post I do in this book. I just wanted to say one more thing before I post this for anyone who is going to check it out or just give it a passing glance. But anyways I hate that life takes away the people who are still young to be passing on.
They still have so much to live for so many choices to make. So many mistakes to make and learn from. Rather the death be accidental, because its their time, or taken by their own hands. Its still cruel of the world to make us feel that way. That's why we need to live each moment like its our last. Who knows how long we have to live.
We were all born into this world for a reason. The biggest thing that I will never get or understand is why does life have to push us to want to end our lives? Why can't things be easier for us? Are we supposed to know how to handle living in this cruel and ugly world? It has its beauties yes but it has its ugliness as well. It drives us to want to end our lives.
Sometimes we succeed because we are determined to die and be successful. Other times when we do try we don't try hard enough because deep down we still want to live. Rather the case we are more scared of living then we are of dying. Because living makes us feel like we are dying a little.
Which could be true in a way. Each time that we feel pain, loss, abandonment, anger, sorrow, cruelty, betrayal. We all die a little inside each time we face hardships we die again. What everyone doesn't know that each day that comes is another part of us that has died. We don't notice it.
We don't pay attention to it but it does happen. I know that most of this doesn't make sense and I am sorry. To be honest I think I am just babbling now. But my point is, is that we don't realize how precious life is until its gone. We all go through a lot and we wish for death. But its because of what we go through that makes us stronger. Each time we feel pain or something happens it makes us stronger.
I am going to live life to the fullest and I am going to try to help out as many people as I can. But for now the person I really need to help out before helping out others. Is myself I have carelessly abused death. I have tried to die so much and so hard that I should have been living. So I am going to do that now. Not just for myself and for the last wishes from my loved ones.
But because of the people that are in my life right now. What we don't realize when we want to die we are going to hurt the people we have left behind the most. They are going to have to live with what we did. What we don't ever notice is how much it affects the people that are in our lives. They will think its their fault.
They would wish to join you or go and do just that taking their own lives to join you in the afterlife. So before you decide to go and kill yourself think of the people. That you are leaving behind think about how its going to affect them and how they live. Tragedies either bring out the best in us or the worst in us or both. In either case.
They might change themselves for the worst they might be careless and don't care about living. Because what's passing through their mind is how they weren't good enough or loved enough to be worth staying alive for. They wouldn't care if they died or not. So please think before doing anything. I hoped this help and I hope this makes sense.
