The Room

Your Body Isn't Your Body

Ashley's Pov
FLASHBACK

"What the fuck do you mean you're pregnant?!" Anthony yells, his eyes full of anger.

"It's the truth!" I plead, hot tears welling in my eyes.

"You're getting rid of it." He says firmly "No fucking way you're keeping a baby."

"No," I try to say defensively "You can't make me. I'm keeping this baby." Searing pain erupts across my face, and I realize that he slapped me. Nothing he hasn't done before.

"That's not up to you!" Anthony yells "You're my property now, how many years does it have to take for you to understand that?! You're getting rid of that baby, do you hear me? If you think keeping that fucking mistake is a good idea, you must be more stupid than I thought!" The tears in my eyes begin to roll down my face, feeling like molten lava. Even though I'm only pregnant because I got raped, I want to keep this baby. It's still a living human being.

"I-I'm keeping it!" I cry "The baby's in my body, I should decide what happens to it!" He just laughs menacingly, as if it were a joke.

"You really are fucked up in the head," Anthony snickers "You just don't get it, do you? You don't have control over your body and what happens to it, I do! Me, not you! If I say you're getting an abortion, then you better bet that you're getting a fucking abortion!"

"I know, I know that you control me." I stammer "But this baby isn't me. This baby is a real, live human being. You can do whatever you want with me, but you're not going to touch my baby."

I'm shoved backwards into the wall, my head making a loud smacking sound. I slump onto the ground, the room spinning dangerously around me. I'm forced to close my eyes. Another blow to the head, this time from what feels like a foot. Curling into a ball, I try and cover my small baby bump, refusing to let Anthony hurt the tiny fetus inside. Another kick to the head, causing little black dots to dance about my vision. I couldn't stand if I wanted to. But that's the thing, I don't want to. Even if I did stand up, I have nowhere to go, nowhere to run. I would end up right back on the ground again.

The next kick is all it takes. As soon as his boot makes contact with my skull, the world goes black.

~~~

"Be ready for when I come back tonight." Anthony says, setting a plate of food down on the bed beside me. Lennon has already shut herself in the storage cabinet, just as she's supposed to every time Anthony comes into the room. Looking down at the ground, I nod, knowing exactly what he's talking about. Raping me. After all these years, I've learned that he'll do it if he wants to, no matter how hard I fight back. So, I've taken to just letting him do it, that way he won't hurt me beforehand. If I resist, he'll beat me and then rape me, if I don't, he'll just rape me. Sometimes, I almost consider it better if he beats me first, that way I'm hardly conscious when he forces himself onto me. But I hate Lennon seeing me after I've been hit. Sometimes, after I tell her it's okay to come out of the cabinet, I collapse onto the bed and pass out. I wish I could help it, I wish she didn't have to see me like that, but I can't do anything about it. Anthony controls me.

He turns around to leave the room, pausing as he reaches for the handle. I know exactly what he's waiting for.

"Goodbye, my darling." I choke out, the words almost like poison on my tongue. He gives me his fake, menacing smile, before leaving the room and locking the door shut. I make sure I hear the five low clicks of each of the different locks before I collect Lennon from the cupboard. Over the years, he'll randomly add a new one to the door, almost to taunt me. As if to say That's right, you're trapped here.