Devoted // l.s

Chapter 5

Harry's POV

I watched the trees and buildings zoom by through the window as Louis drove me to the address.

Most of the ride was silent. I hate silence though ... it just feels so awkward. I'm a talker too so it's even worse. I made jokes here and there but I think he's uncomfortable after what happened in my room.

"Is this the place?" Louis asked pulling into the driveway.

"Yeah." I mumbled telling him to wait here.

I stepped out and knocked on the door. Okay Harry. Wait what am I doing? I haven't seen him in 2 years. What am I gonna say? How's your new life? Remember me?

"H-Harry?" I guess he does.

"Uh yeah hi dad. Can I come in for a second?"

"Yeah yeah of course. Come in."

I stood at the entrance awkwardly. "I just needed to ask you something then I won't ever bother you again."

"You're not bothering me by visiting-"

I cut him off short. I'm not trying to hear a whole damn lecture. "Yeah yeah. I was wondering if you'd be willing to come to Anne's funeral, dad? It's the least you could do."

"Anne's funeral? Who's Anne?"

Did he just- I can't fucking believe this prick. I could feel my blood boiling and balled my fists. "What? For fuck sake! My mum you idiot! My fucking mother!" How could he forget her? I just ... I can't stand this fucking joke.

"I'm so sorry. Right right I know ... But s-she died?  When?" He stutters and looked at me with pity. He's probably faking it.

"The day of the bloody accident you idiot ... but of course you wouldn't know about the accident either.  You were too busy fucking some other bitch while Gemma and I were traumatized and lost our mother. You could have been there for us. But you weren't you fucking coward. I hope you love your new fucking family."

Suddenly, I saw him throw a punch. This asshole fucking punched me-

I fell to the floor and grabbed my jaw. What the fuck.

"Shit. I'm sorry Harry I just- Don't fucking call Leia a bitch. She's technically your stepmother and that's disre-" I didn't realize I moved until I was on top of him beating him. I stopped when I saw blood running from his nose and mouth. Shit. No ... actually FUCK THAT GUY. I stood up and slammed the door.

When I got outside, the air stung my torn knuckles. I looked toward the car and could see Louis on the phone. I opened the door and sat down.

"Love you too Lottie. Bye." Louis hung up and immediately looked at my knuckles.

"Just drive."

He pulled out and drove. "What happened?" Louis questioned in a confused tone. We sat in silence for a few minutes until he pulled into an empty parking lot and shut the car off.

"He didn't even know she passed. That's bot even the worst of it. He forgot who my mum was and hit me." I felt my blood boiling again. I still can't believe that f-

I felt his hand turn my head gently and softly rub the area that was punched. Why is he- Why do I feel relaxed all of a sudden.

"Hm. Guess he can barely throw a punch. It won't leave a mark. Though we should clean your hands." He reached behind the seat and grabbed a half empty water bottle.

We stepped out and he grabbed my left hand, washing it then washed off my right.

"It was all my fault that night." I sighed and leaned against the hood of the car. Louis did the same and I looked him in the eyes.

"The night ... the night it happened, my sister and I got back from England from a friend's wedding. She picked us up from the airport but I was supposed to drive. I complained and said I didn't want to because I was exhausted so my mum gave in and drove.  While she was driving I was singing along to a song on the radio and as we were turning at an intersection, a car shot out from the left. I screamed "MUM WATCH OUT!" But she didn't realize until it slammed into us. I knocked out and woke up to the sight of my mum covered in blood and cuts. I could hear Gemma screaming and shaking her. I thought it was a nightmare. For a split second I thought it was ... I still wish it was only a nightmare."

I looked up at him about to apologize for dropping that on him but Louis was tearing up and just hugged me. He just hugged me. It felt nice to just be heard.

"I'm so sorry that that happened to you, Harry." He said in my ear.

After that we sat in silence for a couple minutes still hugging. I felt a tear roll down my cheek ... this is the first time I genuinely cried in front of a person.

"It was my fault. I should've driven. My mum would still be with Gem. Gem needs her. I need her. Fuck-" I broke away from the hug and pulled out my thin alcohol canister.

"You shouldn't do that."

"Do what?" I asked while I opened the container.

"Drinking. It makes everything worse. It may feel good temporarily but it fucks with your emotions and thoughts. It may seem like it's helping you cope but it's probably actually stopping you." Louis snatched it out of my hand and threw it to the floor.

"That's the only way I can escape it Lou! But fuck ... you're right. It just ... I don't know what else to do." When I finished my sentence, I realized I called him Lou. Lou? What the hell.

Louis looked at me confused. "Did you just call me Lou?"

"S-sorry it just slipped." I got up and got back into the car.

~~~~~~~

I woke up as he was parking the car back at campus. I guess I fell asleep the whole ride back.

"Well, I'm going to head to my dorm. By the way, there's no real way of going about this. You may never heal from this and that's okay. Instead of drinking when you're hurting, try texting or calling someone okay? Or maybe write a song? Find something that doesn't hurt you physically alright?" Louis said and I nodded. He ended up tossing me the keys and walking off.

I went up to my room and laid on my bed staring at the ceiling. Why does he care? He hardly knows me. But then again ... why do I feel so comfortable around him ...?

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