SDMN/Pack One-shots

Water Closet › Emosh

in case you havent noticed, i'm not really comfortable w/ writing actual romantic stuff about the sidemen. so the best you're gonna get is just this weird platonic banter-type thing

"I just came out of the closet."

"What?" Josh stared in disbelief at the man standing before him. Ethan, a few minutes before, had disappeared to use the bathroom, but had since returned. His first words upon rearrival made up a statement, and a very questionable one at that. It wasn't often you heard one of your friends say that they had "come out of the closet."

"No, get it? Cause it's a lavatory and another name for that is a water closet?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake." However proud Ethan was with himself for that joke, Simon clearly did not feel the same.

Josh just smirked. "He'll be coming out of another closet soon," he said to Simon, which elicited a giggle from the blond and a protest from the younger boy.

"No! I'm not gay! Whichever way you put it, I'm not gay! I love women, I promise!"

"Oh yeah," Simon muttered sarcastically. "Okay, then," he said, a bit louder, "blondes or brunettes?"

"Redheads," Ethan answered immediately.

At this, Josh started. "That wasn't the question," he murmured, almost as if talking to himself.

"Hey, hold on," Ethan said. "How come when I make a pun about coming out of the closet, it's gay, but you two dickheads can talk about sitting on dicks and still come off as straight?"

"Well, I-" Josh began to respond, but was cut off by an overdramatic squeal from Simon.

"Ethan just admitted he liked me!"

Josh and Ethan shared the same confused look on their faces. "Sorry, what?" Ethan frowned.

"You called me a dickhead! So that means you like me!" Simon kept up the act, his voice about two pitches higher than normal.

"Oh, FUCK OFF!" Ethan groaned. At this, both Simon and Josh began to laugh uncontrollably, giving way to hysteria.

After the two had calmed down considerably, Ethan pointed out that his question still stood.

"Sorry, what question?" Josh smiled apologetically. "I forgot."

Ethan sighed. "How when I make a simple pun about coming out of the closet, I'm called gay, but you two can literally discuss sitting on dicks and can still be viewed as straight?"

"Maybe 'cause I don't enjoy sitting on dicks?" Josh responded.

Ethan frowned. "Yeah! Neither do I. But still, I get-"

"Did you know that Joshy here likes it when I call him daddy?" Simon interrupted, leaning on Josh's shoulder.

Josh immediately flushed, embarrassed. "No, I don't! Shut up." He shrugged Simon off of him. "And don't call me Joshy. That's almost as bad as daddy."

Ethan laughed. "Nice one, Si."

"You know, I always found it weird when people called you Si," Josh addressed to Simon. "Like, it's too short to be a proper nickname."

"I find it weird when people call me Simon," he said thoughtfully.

Ethan frowned.

Josh seemed to voice Ethan's opinion, saying, "But Simon is your name. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I do, it's just... weird."

"Okaaay," Ethan said, more than a little bit confused.
(if u were in this stream and remember this then 💯💯💯 [ethan wasnt in it, it was cal, but the dialogue is similar])

"Anyway, we've been standing round here too long. Let's go," Josh proclaimed.

The three set off for an unknown destination, Josh and Ethan walking in front and Simon purposefully bringing up the rear.

"Aw, look, it's daddy and his little gay boy," Simon cooed, quite quietly, but loud enough for it to reach both Josh's and Ethan's ears.

"FUCK OFF!"

idk what this is. it was supposed to be short and sweet and capitalize on how behz is always deemed gay but somethin happened and it turned to this l m a o

btw afaik josh has said the word "bisexual" twice on video. it's a start right?!