*Part contains some triggering content with self harm, sorry xx
(Hannah's pov for once)
I remember everything vividly. The way Grace fell asleep on my chest and the way I crept to the bathroom with a bottle of pills and a razor blade. The way I blacked out and heard the faint screams of Grace in the background. The ambulance, the tears and the needles. All of it. Yet it all didn't seem real to me, there was a haze over the whole thing.
I woke up at about three in the morning and Grace was awake with me. "Hannah oh god what did you do! Why?" She screams in a hoarse voice. "Ingrid hates me, Grace, and I tried." I yell, She hates me and she has every reason to. "Hannah, do you love me?" Grace cried. I got flashbacks to the time when we fell for each other and then I realised I still feel the same. I tried to recognise what was real and what I made up and her love for me did seam really real.
"Yes, I do." I whisper as the tears fall down my cheeks. Grace looks at me, her brown eyes glistening with pain and sadness. I look down at my own arms and see the cuts and bandages down from the elbows. "Jesus.." I muttered. She nodded and took my hand. "You get out today but you have to live with me until you're stable again." She says reassuringly. I nod, knowing that I'm never really ok.
"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY HANNAH? Y-YOU LOVE HER AND NOT ME AND THATS WHY YOU'RE UPSET!" Grace yelled at me when I asked why I was upset. "YOU KNOW I CANT HELP IT!" I yell back at her with a pained voice which I tried hard to hide.
She realised what she said and took my hands in hers, gently brushing over my healing scars. "I know." She whispers into my ear and kisses my cheek when she pulls away. "I'm tired." I yawn and stand up, walking slowly to our bedroom. She follows me and flips off the lights. I strip down, careful not to knock my scars and climb into the sheets. Grace takes off her jeans and lays down next to me.
"Hannah, I know that you love her and all but do you love me more. Otherwise there isn't a point in you being away from her even though I love you so much." Grace mutters stroking my hair from my eyes. I start to cry and so I nussle into her chest. She rubs the back of my head and hugs me tight.
"I love you more Grace." I whisper
