The pieces of my soul

Perfect

PERFECT

can't you see?

my life is pretty damn perfect,

mom?

why are you always angry?

doesn't matter she loves me right?

why is everything always a problem?

why doesnt she ever stand beside me?

for good, not for attention,

maybe thats my fault,

she's right im wrong,

not good enough,

better i have to be better,

nicer,

happier,

more wrong,

im always wrong,

not good enough,

when will i be good enough?

never,

doesnt matter,

keep pretending,

keep smiling,

you're perfect,

don't mess it up,

stay perfect.

her boyfriend?

such a liar,

why does he hit me?

the world may never know,

whats his problem with me?

or does he treat all my moms kids like this too?

i wonder..

don't tell mom,

he makes her happy,

you'll ruin everything,

everything's... perfect,

let it stay perfect,

my family?

ashamed of me maybe,

thats fine,

ive always been the ugly duckling right?

I cause too much drama,

i never listen,

im always doing something stupid,

im selfish,

when theyre so "kind"

im so weak,

when theyre so "strong"

i mess everything up,

im like a tornado ruining everything that was so...

perfect.

me?

im not really sure what to think of myself anymore,

im a phsycopath,

i have too many issiues,

too many thoughts racing through my head,

i fight,

i drink,

i smoke,

i curse,

i have a therapist and take meds on the daily,

is that normal?

thats so ... imperfect,

i can't do anything right

right?

im always doing something wrong,

am i wrong?

i feel so out of place,

do i not know my place or something?

is there nothing positive about me at all ?

i wonder...

can you see the pain behind my smile?

or just my goofy ways?

the anger in my silence?

or that im just pissed off?

the cracks in my heart?

or just the wall i put in front of it?

my reasons for everything?

or do you just think im crazy?

i wonder...

it doesnt matter,

dont answer,

dont ask why,

just know im right and your wrong,

you?

your a stranger,

ive never met you a day before in my life,

i never plan on speaking to you again,

i wont remember your name,

where your from,

how old you are,

it doesnt matter,

but who are you to judge me?

who are you to believe me?

you dont even know who i am,

i dont need you,

can't you see,

my life is pretty damn "perfect"