breathing flowers。yoonseok

outro (alternate ending)

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there was an uncomfortable silence as seokjin and namjoon left the room, mentioning something about talking to the doctor and coffee before namjoon closed the door behind his back. yoongi sat on the bed, throat sore and head light and tilted up, more interested at the ceiling than hoseok, who was nervously fidgeting in his seat beside yoongi's bed. then—

"i love you."

yoongi froze as his eyes fell back onto hoseok's, his mind going blank as he tried to register the three words that came out from hoseok's lips. his knuckles turned white because of how he was tightly gripping the bed sheet, mouth forming a small shape of 'o' and eyes widening in disbelief. hoseok seemed nervous and anxious, eyes downcast and bottom lip quivering as he played with the hem of his shirt.

yoongi made a noise at the back of his throat, then cleared his throat in attempt to brush away his lame action. the words yoongi wanted to say died in his throat, and it took him a couple of seconds to gather his thoughts, his eyes flickering to hoseok's face and to the end of the bed he was on. yoongi felt his heart hammering hard against his rib cage while his palms started to sweat.

"are you—are you sure?" yoongi asked, awkwardly chuckling while running a hand through his hair and looking at hoseok helplessly. "because, goddammit, i'm in love with you, hoseok. that was the reason i won't take the surgery; you can't just take someone's feelings away that easily."

hoseok sat up straight in his seat, feet digging down on the floor as if the world was going to take him away from this place, his heart pounding loud enough to hear it in his ears. "why didn't you tell me then?"

"you think it's easy?" yoongi hissed, eyebrows furrowing together as he looked away. "humans are a mess of insecurities, hoseok, and we happened to be one of them. i couldn't just walk up to you and confess my feelings that i've kept to myself for so long. it's—it's not easy. it's fucking nerve-wrecking, hoseok."

hoseok actually looked like as if he was going to cry, and yoongi might actually cry, too, from all this pent-up frustration buried inside him. everything was too overwhelming; he felt like now was the right time for the ground to sink him in.

"i'm in love with you," yoongi sighed with his shoulders slumped as a sign of surrendering, looking down on his clenched fists on his lap when he felt tears burning in his eyes. "and it hurts because every day, the thought of you not loving me back was eating me alive, until i could no longer breathe—until throwing up these goddamn petals became the only reminder to me that i'm alive and that my heart is still beating.

"it was quite pathetic, actually, because every day, the more i fall for you, the more i get worse. the more these petals consumed my body. it was painful; i feel sorry for taehyung because he had stay up all night and clean up all the petals that i puked."

yoongi took a shaky breath, meeting hoseok's watery eyes. "are you really sure? that you love me?"

hoseok opened his mouth, only to close them again as he leaned forward that had yoongi's breath getting caught up in his throat.

then hoseok shyly took yoongi's wrist, slipping it down until yoongi relaxed his hands and their fingers intertwined. it made yoongi breathless as he got lost in hoseok's eyes, and the younger was giving him a small smile that was so full of hope it melted his heart.

"it won't hurt to try, right?" hoseok asked, looking at their hands, then shyly looking back at yoongi. "to fall in love with you, i mean."

yoongi snorted, squeezing hoseok's hand that made the latter squeak in surprise. he rolled his eyes. "i'm not a monster, you idiot."

suddenly, yoongi started to cough, gripping hoseok's hand tightly, and hoseok immediately jumped to pat the elder's back in worry, yelling for the doctor or nurse to come and help them. a complete flower of white camellia climbed up in yoongi's throat and out of yoongi's mouth, and his lips tightened around the stem. hoseok had stared in awe, slowly sitting back on the chair.

"guess—guess its gone?"

yoongi shrugged as he took the flower from his mouth, massaging his throat with his pain confronted in pain. "guess so, i don't know... you want it? the flower?"

a couple of seconds passed before hoseok threw back his head and laughed in amusement, but accepted the flower anyways as he leaned and pressed his lips against yoongi's, catching the elder off-guard. a shy smile made its way to hoseok's lips, and yoongi was ducking his head as the tips of his ears reddened. he was glad that seokjin, nor the doctors were here.

"i want you, too."

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// it is finally done! [throws confetti everywhere] thank you so much for supporting this story and leaving lovely feedbacks down below! i appreciate it so much! <33 thank youuu!~