lollipop | namjin

nineteen

Jin|>

It wasn't long before Namjoon finally came over. He was dressed casually but he looked like just woke up to be honest. He told me about his aunt yesterday over text message and I guessed that for the rest of the night he might have been messed up or still thinking about it.

"You hungry?" I asked.

"Sure." He flopped down on the couch, and flashed me a lazy smile. I rolled my eyes at him, and went into the kitchen to get a bag of chips. I opened a cabinet and snatched a bag of chips from the shelf. I made sure that I had an extra just in case Namjoon ate the whole bag.

Then I left the kitchen. I saw the basket from sometime ago when I went to do laundry upstairs laying close to the couch, and I stepped over it. But my foot got caught on the brim and I fell forward towards the couch, not noticing that on instinct I grabbed the nearest thing to me.

Which happened to be Namjoon.

"What the hell?" I heard Namjoon say as I fell onto him. He was surprised. I glanced at his face but I couldn't read his expression that well because of the semi-dark room. But it was made up mostly of surprise. Then I smiled. It was funny to me how much we've been hanging out on the couch for the past few days. I laughed a little at the irony.

I moved to get up because it was starting to get awkward, but when I moved my leg a bit, Namjoon held me there on top of him.

"Namjoon, I'm trying to get off of you." I whispered to him.

"I know. But give me a second to say something to you."

I was confused. Say what to me? My heart beat quickened at the thought of a confession, but maybe he was telling me that we couldn't be friends anymore. That he was moving to be with other family relatives, or he had a girlfriend.

I gently shook my head at my delusions. I would just have to listen and face the truth if my negative thoughts were real. Even though, I wouldn't be able to take it.

"Jin..." I closed my eyes and waited for the words. Im not gay. I have a girlfriend. We aren't friends anymore. I couldn't take it.

"Don't say it Namjoon." I felt the tears coming to my eyes. "I know." I tried to get off of him, but he grabbed my wrists.

"You know?" He asked. "Know what?"

I pulled back, sitting on his stomach. Don't make me say it. I don't want to cry anymore in front of you. I looked away, breathing slowly to try and prevent the tears.

"Jin what do you know?"

"Don't make me say it!" I shouted. I didn't mean to, but I didn't want to be embarrassed because of the truth. It's only a fantasy to have the perfect fate.

"Jin..." He said softly. "I haven't said anything yet." He frowned.

"I don't want you to." I tried to pry my wrists out of his hands. "I'm a clumsy person and a horrible friend." I was starting to ramble. I didn't mean to do that either. "I know already."

"Jin—"

"Don't."

"Jin I—"

"Namjoon, I said don't."

"Jin, oh my god, liste—"

"No!"

"FOR FUCKS SAKE JIN LET ME SPEAK." He yelled. I flinched at his voice. I stared at him, the tears in my eyes were almost over the edge. He could say it now. For all I care. I knew it already. I know he doesn't like me.

"Fine. Say it." I said, trembling. I didn't want to be weak. I didn't want to show my weak side to him. But I was anyways. "I know you don't like me." I whispered, lowly.

I felt a hand on my cheek, and I saw Namjoon staring at me, but not with hatred in his eyes.

"Jin, I do like you." I stared at him, shocked. "So will you please go out with me?"

//bish idk if this was good

I have the plot written down but I kept changing the way things roll out and it messes up the whole plot

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