The words pondered his mind as he stared up at the ceiling of his living room. His eyes followed the lines of the popcorn design and he crinkled the space between his eyebrows and rubbed his face, his palms were warm and dry, the temperature change from cold the warm had cracked them.
I might be able to change that.
"I might be about to change that," he repeated the words to himself and let out a groan. He pushed his head back on the arm of the couch and rubbed his eyes vigorously," fuck."
His mind went back to his college days, which wasn't the easiest to remember. To be honest, he had probably only been to class about five times his freshman year. All he did was sit in his dorm with a girl he had met the first day, she had sat behind the building one night as Zayn went out for a smoke. She sat with a joint between her fingers and her eyes as red as the flamed ash on the end of his cigarette.
She had noticed him long after he had noticed her, her mind was only on the thick smoke she let out a bit after she inhaled it. When she finally had seen him, she let out a laugh as their dark eyes met.
"You look like the kind I guy who could use this," she held up the brown wrapped herb in between her thumb and index and held her focus on it. The boy let out a laugh and brought the cigarette to his lips and exhaling the toxins it let off.
"A stoner?" He pushed his brows together and let out a chuckle as more smoke escaped his lips.
"Stressed," she took in a breath, Zayn waved his hand, denying it. But they both knew it, it was only his first day and he wasn't ready for it. Any of it. "First one's always free, I'll get you a new one."
He shook his head once again," isn't that how you get hooked?"
"That's any other drug, you can get off this so easy. I only use it when I'm stressed, don't worry, I just need it right now. You probably do too," she took another hit and examined the blunt once more. He sauntered over to her, throwing his cigarette on the sidewalk, swiftly stepping on it.
He looked down at her, as she sat on the stoop of a door, she stared back, holding the blunt up to him.
" I thought you were going to make me a new one?"
"Just try it first," she said, standing up, still holding it out to him. He looked down at it, it slowly burnt out at the blunt, slowly getting smaller. That's how he felt, getting smaller and smaller as he got older, with all work and things expected of him. He reached out, both hesitantly and quickly. It rested on his lips, nothing like a cigarette, they were both very similar and different, much different.
"Take it in," she let out a breath, enjoying watching the young boy try it for the first time. He inhaled, and soon frantically took it from his wet, pink lips and coughed furiously. Her face lit up and she laughed, bending over and then patting the boy on the back.
"You've got to go slow."
"Thanks for telling me know," he handed it back to her, holding his chest. She took it to her lips and took a hit over her own, giving him an example as he watched carefully. The smoke flowed from her mouth and nose much like a waterfall.
"See," she sucked in air through her teeth. Zayn nodded and took it from her grip and brought it to his lips, just like before. He inhaled and took it slowly from his lips. He held in a cough along with the smoke, he attempted what the girl had did, and succeeded.
"Groovy, man," she copied a voice and bobbed her head and they both laughed," not that bad, huh?"
"Nope," he raised his brows, studying it once more, contemplating whether or not he should smoke it again.
"You should try some other stuff," she suggested, taking it from him and slipping it between her lips. She looked down as she took it in and he watched her.
"Is that for stress too?" he was naïve and innocent, they were the same age, but she was much more experienced with the world. She could take advantage of that.
"Depends on how you look at it," she shrugged and peered up at him under her lashes. The moonlight shown on her dark skin and it looked as if it sparkles under the light.
"What do you mean?" He watched her, now mesmerized with her voice, it was slow and soft, like the smoke as it was released from her lips. Her knees were bent and she rested her back against the brick wall, he crouched down to her level, maybe for more than one reason.
"Everyone who uses them- the drugs- y'know," he nodded, a bit startled by the harsh words that so easily fell in her sentence," about everything or anything, this," she held up the blunt," is for just some people, are you stressed enough for the others?" she smiled as his eyes lit up, to be quite honest, she found the boy as attractive as he did her, and she loved the innocence that she could see in him.
He shrugged, sucking in his left cheek and looked down at the ground. She took the weed in her fingers and brought in to his lips and let off a laugh as he smoked it.
"What are you stressed about?" he asked curiously, pushing his head to the right a bit like a confused puppy.
"Everything."
"Can you be a bit more specific?"
"I've got my parents up my ass about school, I don't even know if I want to be here. I've got so much student loans that I need to pay off, and I just got them. My boyfriend dumped me, and he's where I get this shit, he's pretty cheap, too. What about you?" her question was laced with laughter from her statement. He ignored the question, now worried a bit more about her, and about what was in her hand.
"What if I got it for you, pretty cheap, right?"
Her eyes were wide and her face changed with a smile," yeah, maybe. But what are you stressed about?"
"School."
"That's it?"
"Yeah."
She studied him, thinking about the time and how the mosquitos were getting to her.
"Maybe you can get it for me," she stood up along with the boy, not losing eye contact. He nodded vigorously. She smiled out of humor and dug in the pocket of her windbreaker for a moment," take this," she kept the bag rolled up and placed it in his out reached hand, she looked around before pushed his fingers around it.
"Why?" He looked down at it, eyes wide and a small smirk on his face.
"For the help, and you struggles, y'know- stress." The girl walked off soon after, opening the screen door, it slammed behind her, and he could only stare at it, and then down at the bag.
